Loving A Soldier Blog

Power Outage

2012-02-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

This is my first time living in the Pacific Northwest and everyone warned me how much it rains here! What people did not warn me about was trees here couldn’t handle snow or ice! While we had lovely snow almost 11 inches, it was definitely a learning experience, as we did not have power for almost 5 days! We braved out three days before staying with my husband’s family.

While most people would complain as I saw on Facebook to the electric company, I actually enjoyed it! We had another soldier stay with us and what a blast we had! We hiked in the snow to visit other soldiers down the street and even played a game of Pictionary! I even learned that not everyone knows what a jigsaw puzzle is! I got to know these soldiers that work with my husband and honestly those memories are embedded into my memory. My husband and I still laugh over the game of Pictionary!

I can’t thank my husband’s family enough to take in both my husband and I, but also our brand new kitten. While I enjoyed the warmth, my husband was glad to watch football! It was hard returning to work without a shower and electricity, but I am so grateful for power. I never released the importance because on the east coast we can get 3 feet of snow and still have power! Most of all when I was cold and chattering never once did my husband say I have been in worse!

AWTR Show 353: 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands

2012-02-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio a talk with author Jay Payleitner and his new book “52 Things Wives Need From Their Husband”. Is he correct? Is this what you really need?

Resource of the Week: Vets4Warriors

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

That "Deployment" Feeling

2012-02-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

I can't remember much of anything.

Seriously. It's not one of my finer traits.

But I can remember exactly what I wore, exactly where I was, exactly who I was with, and exactly how I felt every single time my soldier has deployed.

It begins in the morning. You groggily get out of bed wishing the morning hadn't come so early, as time rapidly depletes. You try to act like it's just like every other day, but you know it's not. Fear and worry overwhelm you as you cry through an entire hot shower. You get dressed and continue daily activities as he goes through is final bag check list. You watch him as you struggle to control your mind from going "there"...

What will life be like without him?

What if...

What am I going to do with all of this time by myself?

What if...

What am I going to do with the kid(s)?

Oh no! What if...

You try with all of your might to keep it together but you really are slowly dying inside. You can't decide if it's hurt, anger, or just plain sick.

I remember that feeling. Doesn't matter which time it was that he deployed - that feeling was still the same. I'm there again. Mostly anxious that this day will soon arrive, and a bit angry that I cannot control my own mind.

Why is this important? Because I want to share with you that...

It doesn't matter how many times you've done it. (This will be our 4th separation and 3rd deployment.)

It doesn't matter where you are in you life. (We've been a military family for 14 years.)

It doesn't matter what you do for a living. (I co-founded Army Wife Network)

And It doesn't matter how much you love this life. (I co-authored 1001 Things to Love about Military Life)

Unfortunately, nothing short of him not leaving can make that feeling go away.

I have decided instead of fighting that feeling, I will embrace it. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel blessed to have the opportunity to love someone so much that I literally feel sick inside at the thought of being without them.

Now, if I can just remember.

Time to Take a Stand for Military Children in Georgia

2012-02-05T18:35:00.000-08:00

Our military children have to face many challenges, andone of the hardest is moving and having to start all over in a new school. In the state of Georgia, this is a hardprocess for military families. I am oneof these stories…

We have been amilitary family for 15 years, and my oldest daughter, who is eleven, hasalready attended three different schools. This past summer, we moved to Georgia, right outside Atlanta, where myhusband has been assigned for recruiting duty. We were excited at the prospect of moving to Georgia since we would becloser to family. Little did we know ofthe challenges that we would face, and most of all, our daughter.

We moved fromFort Eustis, Virginia around May 1^st. My husband was required to be in Atlantaaround May 12^th. Once we arrived we were staying in a hotel while wewaited for the government housing program to help us find a home. This proved to be a difficult process and weremained in the hotel longer than we would have liked to, approximately 30days. Once we did finally find a home,as soon as I had the address I raced to the elementary school to get mydaughter enrolled so she could finish her fifth grade year.

When wearrived, I was shocked at how the staff really had no idea how to proceed withmy daughter. I had all of her reportcards from her old elementary school at Fort Eustis. I was never able to get her records from theelementary school at Fort Eustis but I gave the elementary school in Georgiaall of the school’s contact information in Virginia so they could contact herlast school. I had her birth certificateand her shot records. This is when I washit with my second shocker. My daughterwould have to have her records transferred onto a Georgia immunizationform. This would be the only way to gether enrolled. I had just found a home,and now I was going to have to race to contact TriCare and find a doctor herein Georgia to transfer her records onto some special form. I could not believe what I was hearing, whenI heard my third shocker, there was only 2 weeks left of school inGeorgia.

I wanted tocry as I walked away from that initial meeting with the elementary school. How could things be so different inGeorgia? We had never had any problemsenrolling our daughter in school, not even in Germany! That’s when I put on my military spouse faceand got to work. I immediately tried tocontact the School Liaison Officer at Fort McPherson in Atlanta. I knew the base was scheduled to close inless than thirty days but I was pulling for resources and for help.

This is when Ifound out that the state of Georgia was not a part of the Interstate Compact onEducational Opportunity for Military Children. States can sign onto this compact to help military children ease thetransition into new schools when they move across state lines. You can learn more about the InterstateCompact at http://www.mic3.net . Georgia is one of a small handful ofstates that have not signed onto this compact, yet Georgia serves a significantamount of military families.

To finish mystory, I did get my daughter into a doctor, and they did transfer her shotrecords onto the Georgia form, and I was able to get her enrolled intoschool. She only had to go for a weekand I never was able to find out if her new school obtained any records fromthe school in Virginia. To this day, shehas never received a final report card for her fifth grade year. She transferred from the elementary school tothe middle school fairly smoothly.

I am just oneof many stories out there from military families who have spent time inGeorgia. It is time to take a stand and urgeGeorgia legislatures to sign onto the Interstate Compact. Is it not hard enough that military familieshave to constantly move? Why make itharder for us to enroll our children into school? Blue Star Families and other militaryorganizations are coming together to bring change to Georgia, and I am askingyou to help other military families so they don’t have to endure these samehardships. Have you had a similar experience in Georgia? You can share your personal story today byemailing GAFtBenning@BlueStarFam.org . Be sure to spread the word because together we can achieve change!

Janet

If Momma Ain't Happy...

2012-02-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

February...a whole month of this new year has quickly passed by and it's now been two months since my husband returned from Iraq. It really does seem like just yesterday that we were anxiously awaiting his return in that cold airplane hangar. And then there are other days when it feels like he has been home forever and that the long deployment was only a bad dream. But it wasn't, and there are some tell-tale signs that still, two months later, remain to prove it's existence.

Overall the reintegration has been a very smooth process. Especially compared to much of the information that we were given at the reintegration briefings focusing on how different our spouses can be, and how difficult reintegration could be, and all the possible conflicts that can possibly arise. They prepare you for the worst possible scenarios so that when issues do arise, you are armed with the knowledge and resources to deal with them. But luckily for us, my husband has settled into a routine within our family fairly well with only a few minor bumps. Discipline for the kids, responsibility for the finances, living among people other than a group of guys who burp, cuss, and call each other nicknames that I really don't want to know the origin of...those are just some of the parts of reintegrating back into the post-deployment life and so far he has eased back into almost effortlessly.

But it's not my husband who is having a hard time adjusting to life after deployment...it's me. The first few weeks he was home was like a honeymoon. After 10 months apart, we wanted to spend every moment of the day together as a couple and as a family. My husband's clothes on the floor didn't bother me as I happily picked them up to put them in the hamper. The dishes left on the counter above the dishwasher, versus in it, just another reminder that he was back home safe where he belonged. Emails went unchecked, schedules were abandoned, and laundry was left to pile up - everything could wait while our family made up for lost time together...

...and then reality returned. As soon as the holidays were over and school/work resumed, life began to creep back into our happy, honeymoon existence. While I was still elated that my husband was back in my arms once again and I looked forward to seeing when we returned home after work, the laundry and chores were all waiting for me too. I began to have a difficult time balancing keeping up with the things that needed done day-to-day and spending time just being with my husband. Whereas during the deployment I spent the hours after the kids went to bed cleaning and catching up on things, I now wanted to spend those hours talking with my husband or simply being with him. I just couldn't figure out how to get it all done and how to make everyone happy in the process...including myself. And as much as I complained about all the "alone time" during the deployment, I suddenly found myself needing some of it now.

Finally, after a long conversation with my husband and actually opening up to him about what I was struggling with, things had begun to fall back into place. I needed to be willing to tell him what I needed help with (something I have never been good at doing is asking for help!) and I also needed to realize that it's OK to let the laundry go for a bit. The chores will get done and the lunches will get made. And it is OK to take some time to myself, because like the saying goes, "If Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy!" But being together as a family again is ultimately more important than a clean house or empty laundry hampers. It's funny, these were all realizations that I came to during the deployment, but once my husband was safely back home I seemed to forget again.

I think the biggest thing that I have realized during the last two months is the importance of communication. Being able to openly state what I need and how my husband can help has actually helped both of us. Some of the stress has been taken off of me and he knows what I really need, rather than him guessing or doing nothing. We have both been able to communicate when we are struggling with something and have been able to help each other with suggestions or by clearing up a misunderstanding. While communication won't take all the bumps out of reintegration, it certainly will go a long way to making them a bit smaller. And anything that will make this process even a little smoother is well worth the effort to me!

Any other spouses/significant others that have struggled with life after deployment? How did you make the transition easier on yourself?

Let Go!

2012-01-31T16:56:00.000-08:00

Up until this point in my life I have always been striving for something…getting into college, getting through architecture school, graduating, getting married, and getting a “real” grown-up job. I have had long term goals ingrained into my head since I was in the eighth grade and realized I wanted to be an architect. Now what? Everything I have been working so hard to achieve has come to fruition and now I find myself asking…what’s next? The problem, and I really do think of this as a problem, is that my future is so unclear. As of right now the only thing that I know is for sure going to happen is that sometime after my husband graduates and is commissioned, we will be moving to Ft Benning for his training. This could be a week after he graduates, a month, or a year…who knows. I am so happy and proud of him, but what about me? (I just sounded like my three year old niece…great!) I am so use to having a long term goal and plan for my life and now, I’m not going to lie…I am feeling a little lost. The only thing I know as of right now is that a great deal of my life is temporary. The job that I have been working so hard to get…temporary. Potentially, the career that I chose is not going to mesh well with the army lifestyle so that too could be…temporary. The time that I get to spend with my family every weekend…temporary. Joe and I’s first home together…temporary. My church family that I have grown to love…temporary. Not only does all this make it very difficult to plan anything long term, but it honestly seems to make it difficult for me to function. It’s difficult for me to focus at work knowing that I’m not going to be there very long, it’s difficult to make our first house a home knowing that the stay is only a few months, and it’s difficult for me to continue to be involved in church knowing that I can’t really commit to anything long term. This is totally out of the ordinary for me because I typically put my heart and soul into everything I do.

As much as I am struggling, I truly believe that this is one way God is going to use this lifestyle to push me out of my comfort zone and to help me grow. I am technically not even an army wife yet…I’m really just an ROTC wife (I think I just made that term up…sorry!) and I acknowledge that I have barely put my toes in the water and I am already struggling. But, I also see this as an amazing opportunity to help me realize that I am NOT in control. My all-time favorite bible verse is, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path.” This verse is ingrained in my head as well as my heart but it still doesn’t make the act of letting go any easier. As painful and as difficult as this might be I just have to keep telling myself, “ I am not in control, I am not in control, I am not in control,” and hopefully one day I learn to wholeheartedly let go…if I don’t, I have a feeling this is going to be one painful journey. I’m sure I will learn though! I’ve gotta tell you, if my husband (then boyfriend) had not come to me three years ago telling me that he felt a strong calling to join the army, this is something I may have never learned. I’m pretty confident that, given the opportunity, I would have stayed at my current job forever; I would have purchased a house near my family and I would have never moved again, and I would have had an eerily similar routine every single day for years to come. Now…I have to ask myself…what fun would that be?!

AWTR Show 352: 7 Money Rules For Life

2012-01-31T07:41:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with Mary Hunt and her new book “7 Money Rules for Life: How to Take Control of Your Financial Future”.

Resource of the Week: Love and Logic

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

AWTR Show 351: National Guard 101

2012-01-30T09:18:00.002-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a talk with author Mary Corbett and her new book “National Guard 101: A Handbook for Spouses”.

Resource of the Week: Not Alone

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Chief Pharmacist (another additional duty)

2012-01-29T17:57:00.000-08:00

This is just a fun note/blog to make sure you guys have heard about and checked out a beneficial program availalble at most, if not all installations. It's often referred to as "the self-care class." I recently took the local equivalent at our Community Health Resource Center on Fort Leonard Wood in order to add another title to my list.

mother, wife, confidante, household 6, executive officer, chief financial officer, and now chief pharmacy officer

I've been to one class before (more than 10 years ago) and received the coveted magic card (a result of graduating the class). I can't believe I waited so long to take it again. The premise behind community health centers offering these classes is that as adults we have the ability, and to some level, responsibility to "take care of yourself." But to us, it means a free and well-stocked home pharmacy, which will serve as a first line of defense against sniffles turning into wheezing and sinus headaches turning into sinus infections.

It's another empowerment tool offered by installations to keep the numbers down in the Urgent Care and Emergency Room. I also think it keeps the barely sick out of those places that might get you really sick!

Here are some fast facts that I gathered from our Self-care class pre-test:

1. Self-care is taking care of your own health for treatment of minor health problems.

ⒶTrue Ⓑ False Ⓒ Don’t know
Or if you're a mother/chief pharmacy officer for your household, like I am now, then you can treat your spouse and children too. I remember going to the emergency room once with a baby and being "prescribed" cough syrup. Had I had the class, I would have had the syrup, knew to administer it, and gotten extra rest at home besides.

2. I can get up to 5 self-care medications for minor health symptoms that I might have.

Ⓐ True Ⓑ False Ⓒ Don’t know
At my installation (please check your local rules and procedures), once you've had the class, you can draw up to 5 different items per patient per month. Our pharmacy has 50 different items to include adult vitamins and 81mg aspirin for heart health. That's got to be a periodic savings of $30 per person per "flu season."

3. Ibuprofen tablets are available through self-care.

Ⓐ True Ⓑ False Ⓒ Don’t know
Ibuprofen/Motrin IS NOT candy, but I know there's a reason why they call it that. We go through a lot in our house with aches and pains due to aging, kids, stress, or all of the above.

4. I can share self-care medications with my battle buddies.

Ⓐ True Ⓑ False Ⓒ Don’t know
This is why it's important and required that you take the class. There are always rules and procedures to follow to make sure we know how to take care of ourselves and our family. You must sign a statement that these items are for "personal use only." We don't know (except for what they tell us) what other people's symptoms are, and what they can/should/can't take. Best thing you can do is sign up your battle buddy for the class too!

5. The pharmacist can answer questions that I may have about OTC medications.

Ⓐ Yes Ⓑ No Ⓒ Don’t know
I've never met a pharmacist who isn't helpful. Except many of them just shrug or laugh when I ask them why it's "over the counter" meds vs. "on the counter" meds. I guess they're just used to getting questions about dose and deconflicting prescription medication with "OTC" meds and/or supplements. Either way, they're very helpful and I'm guessing if you haven't heard of the self-care class, they'll direct you on how/where to get that too!

Here's hoping I told a few of you something new. From what I read, our newest soldiers have the "self-care class" at initial/basic training, but if they're anything like my soldier, they're notorious for not sharing the knowledge. Bottom line, get a card however you need to, start saving, and start getting and staying healthy.

That's a word from my family's Chief Pharmacist, me!
________
Assorted posts from our Loving A Soldier archives:

In Time for "Me" Time
Mom Just Locked Her Door
Household 6

Your Mission Statement Is Your Map

2012-01-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

"My purpose as a HH6 is to manage my family. I will do this by using my talents of planning and problem solving to build a strong family. In doing so I will achieve fulfillment as a wife and mother."

This is my mission statement. Why a mission statement? Well, a mission statement answers the question, "Where am I going?", it is the inspiration that can encourage you when a day is challenging and it refocuses you when you get off track.

Writing this statement was not easy for me. I really had to take some time to think about what I wanted out of my role as a HH6 (family manager), wife, mother and friend. That thinking turned out to be some serious introspection. I have never sat down and really thought of my role and what I wanted. I have only thought about what it is I do and how to get it done. So, writing this mission statement was an eye opener. I decided I don't have to be perfect. That is a huge step for me.

My statement will change as life changes. This statement is my spring board for building a strong family and the place where I will come back to when I have self-doubt.

I challenge you fellow HH6's to come up with your own mission statement. Start by asking yourself what your priorities are, your strengths are and what you want the end result to be. List all your ideas. After listing your ideas narrow the list by choosing one or two ideas from each question that really speaks to you. Now you are ready to write your mission statement. Let your mission statement reflect who you are.

I can't wait to see what you have to say. Post your statement in the comment section below. Let's inspire each other!

Remember, life is a journey and your mission statement is your map.

Letting it run it's course.

2012-01-27T08:36:00.000-08:00

Well.... here we are again. My husband has returned to Afghanistan after two blissful weeks of rest and relaxation for all of us.

It's still fresh in our hearts so we are still in that "numbing" mode that ties us over until we get to the "kinda functioning" mode and then the "deep breath lets get back into routine" mode.

Our goodbye was cut short due to the train arriving at the station early and so the kids and I had a few seconds of goodbye before our Soldier had to board. We were probably a sad sight to the other passengers peering out their windows... the three of us standing there on the platform crying as the train tortuously pulled away.

Once I pulled into the driveway of our home it felt like time stopped. I could feel the pit of my stomach and I could hear myself in my head saying that I didn't want to be home without him and I just didn't want to go into the house. Once inside, the silence was deafening. It feels like the life is sucked out of these walls. The kids and I do fine with making our house a home, but after these past few weeks of having my husband home, it just feels numb.

I couldn't resist and I immediately called my husband as soon as our boots were off. By then he had reached the underground and was waiting for his train to the airport. I quickly took the chance to pass the phone off to the kids so that he could tell them he loved them one more time. Our daughter was first and she just repeated that she missed her Daddy many many times. When our son got on the phone and just simply said that he wanted his Daddy to come back, I choked up.

By the time dinner had rolled around, the house had livened up a little. I did my best to keep the numbness away until bedtime. I put on the best happy face I could conjure and allowed the kids to be as loud as they wanted. I could write forever on how It's just not the same though.

So... here I find myself. It's almost 11pm here in Germany and the kids are asleep and the house is dark, quite the opposite of what it's been like these last few weeks. This might sound weird, but I welcome this silence and the numbness and loneliness that have taken up residence in my heart for the time being. I've learned that for me personally, if I fight how I am feeling right now and don't let it runs it course, than it stays around longer, and I am more miserable. When I let these feelings run their course, I am stronger for it, and am able to be back at 100% for myself and my family soon after the dust settles from our goodbye.

At the end of the day, after 6yrs of goodbyes, this is how my body and heart have taught me how to deal with the constant goodbyes of my husbands career. How do you deal with the silence and loneliness that meet you as soon as you utter those words of goodbye to your loved one? Do you fight them or do you pair up with a pint of ice cream and just put up with the ride?

Let's Get Real

2012-01-25T18:52:00.000-08:00

So often times, I feel like I'm searching for things to blog about or I talk about surface things. Lately, I've just had so much going on in my life that I just wanted to get real.

I didn't blog in December because that's where my insanity started. December 19, my husband and I got home from running an errand to find that our house was on fire. I'll be honest. I had lit our advent candles in my advent wreath and forgot about them. I had gone running that afternoon and came home and was stretching and hydrating before I took a shower and wanted to look at the pretty light the candles gave. My husband had left to pick up his son so we could go Christmas shopping. I had just gotten out of the shower when he called and told me to hurry up and get outside, so that we didn't make our dogs crazy with all the coming and going. I was rushed and didn't do my normal triple check of everything before we left. The candles had burned down, caught the wreath on fire, and then everything else that was on the table caught fire.

One of the many crazy parts was that I was about to do my segment for our AWN Holiday Show when my dear husband came shouting at me to call 911. I did, and they appeared quickly. The fire department came in and used a dry chemical to put out the fire (thankfully this means we have no water damage). The fire itself was small and contained to one room. The down side - the entire inside of our house was covered in smoke and soot. Not fun. Our upstairs bedrooms were all closed and the clothing in the closed closet doors in the closed rooms was covered as well. I am still amazed at how black everything was from a smallish fire.

A scary thing for us was that the dogs were home when all this happened - alone. My husband ran in the house, saw the smoke, shouted for me to call 911, then ran back in to get the dogs out. This part is still very raw for me. I cannot imagine what those poor doggies were thinking or feeling during all this. If something had happened to them, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself. I know they're 'just dogs', but these 2 are my fur babies! We then had to put them in a kennel until we got temporary housing.

While in the kennel, Harry (our 3 year old Blue Heeler) started to gnaw on his tail out of anxiety. It ended up with sores that got infected. I took him to the vet and he got some medicine and the cone of shame. Thankfully that's cleared up. Neither Harry or Lizzy (our Catahoula mix doggie) have quite adjusted to this apartment life. For that fact, neither have I.

DH is at a military school and I am not comfortable being in a place that's not my house. The dogs are definitely stressed. I came home from teaching yesterday to see that Lizzy had gotten sick in her crate - all over her dog bed and then it was pushing out of the crate and onto the carpet. Why is it my wonderful husband always gets to miss the messes and I have to clean them up?

Not only am I dealing with a sick dog (who is staying overnight tonight with the vet) and an anxious dog, but it's been left to me to make any decisions on the house that come up while DH is at his school. A few weeks ago, before DH left, we had to pick out paint colors. Then last week, we had to discuss cabinets and light fixtures/ceiling fans. Tomorrow I have to pick out carpeting/flooring.

I hope no one else ever has to deal with this. I understand that this could have been so much worse than it was. This is stressful enough. I really just want to be back in my own house. Until then, we have many decisions to make regarding the house. The insurance company is writing off ALL of our books, movies, CDs, Wii Games, my music books that I accumulated through college, etc. We just got the unsalvageable list from them with the values. We have to get new mattresses and box springs, a new couch, a new dining room set, a new piano, some new bedding, new kitchen stuff (they just bundled that, so I'm not even sure what all that means), etc. All I can really say is that THIS SUCKS!

I have been doing my best to keep a positive attitude through out all of this. I am super stressed. We have so much going on with DH's Army stuff in the next few months that is adding to the stress. I just hope that we can be back into our house before he has to leave again. As I sit here and think about all of this crap going on, I have to be thankful that our house didn't catch fire while DH was deployed. I have to remember that my wonderful Army Wife friends who are active duty have to deal with this kind of crap more than I do. I am having a hard time forgiving myself for the fire to begin with = which is driving my husband up a wall. Sometimes I wish my thoughts and emotions could operate like his - but they don't.

I am in the habit where I just naturally seem to apologize for everything. This makes my husband angry, because I am often apologizing for things I cannot control or things that aren't my fault. I've been this way ever since I can remember. Growing up, I didn't have the greatest of childhoods and had to apologize for everything whether or not it was my fault (that's another blog for another day). It's become a natural reaction. Right now, I am drained emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, etc. I'm depressed. I have no energy and am not coping well. Though if you come up to me and ask how I'm doing, my response is that I'm hanging in there and taking it all one step at a time. That's true, but that's the surface of it all. I am to the point of calling to get an appointment with a therapist. I am not sure I can deal with much more before I really lose it. I cry for no real apparent reason, have a short temper, and just want to stay in bed and sleep all the time. I really just want to crawl under a rock and hide until everything is over and life can go back to normal - but when will that be?

I've struggled with depression in the past - actually for probably half of my life. I've been through some serious events and was diagnosed with PTSD before it became associated with war and combat. In the past I was medicated for anxiety and depression. I still have frequent anxiety attacks. They come out of nowhere. I'll be laying in bed at night and all of a sudden feel tense, tight, and have an anxiety stomach ache. Sometimes I'll be going about my business through the day and randomly get the chest pains that are anxiety attacks. I've dealt with this for so long that it's normal to me. I don't take meds for it anymore either. I've learned to ask for help. It's ok. The Army has so many resources for us. I take advantage of them as I need to. I'm to the point of using them again.

I know that this crazy life we live as Army spouses can really get to us. I see where they are preaching about soldier suicide rates. What about the spouses? My hopes in writing this blog is that maybe someone will have those feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide will read this and realize they are not alone. I've been there. I still have to fight the internal battle where sometimes I think my husband would be better off if I weren't around. Sometimes I still think about driving my car off a bridge, and I have to FIGHT with myself to make myself see that's not the answer. Please realize that there is help out there. This life we live as spouses is NOT easy. I hate when my mother tells me that I knew what I was getting into when I married my soldier. Then again, she doesn't understand. She's not married to a soldier. As spouses we need to lean on each other and support each other. If there's not someone you know that you can talk to, don't be afraid to ask for help. Keep it real.

Operation Sweetheart – Win a Dream Date or a Deployment Cake!

2012-01-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

February is around the corner and yes, love is in the air. SargesList is mission ready and willing to help with assistance from their battle buddies-in-amore Wire-A-Cake!

Who Can Enter?
Whether your sweetie is nearby or separated through deployment or training, you can enter to win a date night (dinner) OR a deployment cake to show you care!

What Will You Win?
1. One lucky couple who is together in CONUS will be able to win a dream dinner date of their choice. You can select the destination of your choice and we will call and make reservations for you, all expenses paid (up to $150 value)!

2. Another lucky winner will win a deployment cake for their loved one who is separated through deployment or training. This cake will be made and delivered with love courtesy of Wire-A-Cake on 01 Feb 2012 to ensure delivery by Valentine’s Day.

3. The third lucky winner will win a mystery prize, to be announced.

Get Entered Now

PWTM-Joint Base Lewis-McChord

2012-01-24T06:45:00.000-08:00

This month for Post With The Most(PWTM) we are taking a look at Joint Base Lewis-McChord( JBLM) in Tacoma, Washington. Kim Fourtunia helped answer some of our questions.

Kim has been an Army wife for 23 years and was with her husband at Fort Bragg from 1989 until July of 2011. And her dad retired from the Marines.

As I am writing this JBLM is trying to thaw out from an uncharacteristic winter storm that dropped a lot of snow on them. The state of Washington is known for a lot of rain, but apparently snow is pretty uncommon, especially the amount they just received.

JBLM is home to I Corps, 62nd Airlift Wing and Stryker Brigades.

As I sorted through the emails trying to find the one that would best be used to help give the most information for PWTM, I did find one thing common amongst all the replies, and the best way to sum it up is that JBLM is in the heart of "majestic beauty".

I am one who really enjoys being outside. So when I start reading about the mountain top backdrop that Mount Rainier and other mountains close by cast upon the installation, I get all gitty inside. I can nearly smell the evergreen trees that seem to be as common around post as cars on a Los Angeles freeway. But instead of sucking in exhaust fumes one can take a deep breath and enjoy crisp, clean air.

Another thing that stuck out to me as I read the emails about JBLM was the proximity to some smaller cities and also the ability to go to Seattle. With the amount of 4-day weekends us military families, get it is always nice knowing you can take day trips and explore. I think that is one of the most overlooked perks of being a military family. Even though we can be thousands of miles away from family, we are given the great fortune of seeing things that if not for the military we may have never been given the opportunity to see. For instance, The Space Needle in Seattle, it isn't exactly on my bucket list, but given the opportunity I would head there in a heartbeat. Along those same lines I am not a Starbucks fan by any means, but I would love to stop in for a giant cup of some flavored java at one of the original Starbucks locations.

If exploring isn't up your alley, it sounds like you will find enough around JBLM to keep you busy. You can go bowling, to the roller skating rink or movies on post. You can also head down to one of the man made shoreline beaches in the warmer months and rent a paddle boat, jet ski or motor boat. And if you are looking for something with the kids to do during those warmer months, maybe hit up the splash park on post followed by a picnic at one of the many picnic areas.

Memories are made by the experiences we have. Being a military family we can experience things that others only dream about. That is what makes every "post" the Post With The Most. Should my family ever get stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, I look forward to the adventure that lies in wait.

Until next month, wherever you are make it your very own Post With The Most.

Chasin' That Dream....

2012-01-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

So, I have this dream. It's a dream that I think every normal, and possibly not so normal, people my age dream about. I want a home.... not just someplace to live; commonly referred to as "quarters" on this military journey.

This is the home I am talkin' about....

I found this home on my many journeys through coastal Georgia to find said perfect home to live in while stationed here. Then Soldier guy came and ruined my hopes because of the distance of my dream home from Fort Stewart. Well, I say he ruined my dream, but not really.... I still have the dream, I just have to wait a bit for it. But through the process of realizing that sometimes we have to wait for the things that we want, rather than need, I came to the conclusion that for ten looooonnnngggg years now, I have been chasing a dream rather than chasing reality. The here and now, the enjoyment of what I have been gifted, the excitement of the unknown things this life will bring.

This is the home I live in now... we call this our "quarters".

Our quarters, are to say this least, not stellar. I would be okay if this was, like, some great historical home with real wood floors and great arched doorways, wood doors and trim. But, it's not. In this house lived past General's, Colonel's and such but, seeing as how Fort Stewart is not that historical, I'm just gonna have to deal with my reality. the vinyl wood floors and all. Hey, at least it has a fireplace, right?

All that said... the point of this blog is to tell you all that I am overhauling my quarters. Cabinets and all. Because, honestly, I have to live here and my cabinets are about 50 years old (the work guy who comes and fixes our stuff said they were built in a workshop here a looonnnggg time ago) and I just cannot live with them. I have faced the fact that my children will never have the most awesomely decorated rooms, that were built just for them, in the home they would live in forever; no matter how much i wish they could. My fireplace won't have the mantle I really want, and my bathroom does not (and will never have) that awesome stand alone tub and great shower with eight shower heads. But I'm gonna try and make this home almost as great in a "portable", moveable way and I'm taking you all on this journey with me, like it or not.

Let Me Introduce Myself

2012-01-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm Kowanda McBride, the 2012 HH6. I want to introduce myself to you. But first, I want to thank everyone that voted. Voting matters. I appreciate all the support from each and every one of you that chose me as the HH6. I've wanted this since the first Army Wife Network (AWN HH6) competition. With that being said I want to tell you a little about me.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mom remarried when I was six. My step-dad joined the Army shortly after the wedding. My mom came with a family- 2 daughters and a son. He had to do something to take care of us all! My childhood was chaotic. Moving around was hard. Somewhere along the way I accepted life as it was. I didn't embrace it but I dealt with it. I also swore I wouldn't marry someone in the military. But, I did. I decided to embrace my life. I changed the way I looked at the moving, new places and things I just don't understand. I'm so very lucky to have lived in Germany, South Korea and in just about every region of the United States. Life is good. Life is an adventure. I don't know what will I do when my Soldier retires.

I'm a professional volunteer. I like to set my own schedule and do whatever strikes my fancy. I enjoy Army Family Team Building (AFTB) and the Army Family Action Plan Conference (AFAP). I currently volunteer for both of those programs and I volunteer at the stray facility on post. I've been a basketball coach (3 and 4 year old) and a soccer coach (5 and 6 year old), Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leader (twice!), Red Cross volunteer as a dental assistant and the list goes on. My interests vary. A lot.

I value my Army family. We are each others greatest resource. There is always someone who can relate to just about any situation we encounter as an Army spouse. We can learn so much from each other. As the 2012 HH6 I hope to inspire, teach and give a few pointers on managing our Army wife lives. Here is to a great year!

Is There Room for Home Based Business?

2012-01-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

Earlier this month, Ann Marie at Household6Diva (one of Army Wife Network's featured bloggers!) wrote a blog post highlighted the challenges facing a military spouse who wished to be self-employed while their family is stationed OCONUS. Earlier this week, Army Wife Talk Radio welcomed Amy Robinson, Chief Marketing Officer of the Direct Selling Association and discussed the popularity of Direct Selling companies among the military community (find the full podcast here).

There have been numerous initiatives over the last decade aiming to address the employment concerns of military spouses. The military community is highly aware that the constant moves, unpredictable schedule and licensing/qualification variances all contribute to create the "perfect storm" for un-(and under-)employment.

There is one aspect to the problem, though, that receives less attention: the challenges facing home based or self-employed spouses living OCONUS and in on post housing. In this difficult economic time, self employment and home based business have received an incredible amount of press. Army Wife Network has discussed mobile careers and self-employment many times from a variety of perspectives. But are the needs of these spouses being addressed on installations?

In particular, while assigned to a foreign country, spouses employment falls under the SOFA (status of forces agreement) which further complicates the matter. Additionally, in Ann Marie's case, her proposal to open an on location photography business was rejected because at one time AAFES was operating a photography studio.

Are you self-employed? Do you have a home based business? What opportunities and challenges have you faced combining self-employment and the military lifestyle?

The full article and a fabulous discussion can be read on Ann Marie's site, Household6Diva

Interested in what's been said on Army Wife Network? Check out:

Benefits of Working From Home

Can You Take Your Career With You When You PCS?

Being A Virtual Assistant

Mobile Careers

Kidlet Chaos

2012-01-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

If you’ve had a child, you’re familiar with the hundreds of ways that people tell you your life will change.

One of the many aspects of parenthood that I could not possibly have been prepared for was the chaos, the sheer mess. Now, it may be the shell shock talking at the moment since my little is two and half, potty training and in a particularly independent stage- but there are times that my life feels like a never ending treadmill of sweeping, vacuuming, dishes and laundry.

In the first few months after having my son, I tried to embrace it. I love making a comfortable, welcoming home- so I figured I would slip gracefully into being a stay-at-home-mom with ease and flair.

Um. Big, fat FAIL on that one.

I floated in a sea of barely controlled stuff. Baby stuff, my stuff, Army stuff. Closets were always stuffed full. My meal planning was haphazard. Grocery shopping was often picking up a couple things here and there. There was always something that needed to be cleaned. And I was frustrated.

I kept telling myself it was more important to rock or play with my little one than to vacuum- but getting on the floor to play with him made me cringe if I hadn’t vacuumed that day. Laundry can wait another day, I muttered- as I dug through drawers in search of matching outfits.

It took a long time for me to admit that it just wasn’t working for me. But WHAT was it that was wrong? WHY was I so stressed? It took more time for me to identify that what my life lacked as a stay at home mom was some kind of structure, a guiding organization. As long as my child was fed, dry and clothed, what else really mattered?

The truth is that I need order and organization. If there are dirty dishes in the sink and toys on the floor when I go to bed at night, I start the next morning off in a foul mood. I can tell myself all day long that I’d rather spend the time with my family- but my truth is that if I don’t clean up than I spend that extra play time in a foul mood. There’s a part of my brain fretting about the disorder in my house. Instead, if I arrange our day so that my son goes to bed early enough that I have the energy at the end of the day to spend half an hour picking up my house, then the free time I have with my family I am focused and in the moment.

There are times that I slip back into letting things go and not taking the time to organize my home and life. But every time, very quickly, life starts to feel a bit frantic. Dinner time gets haphazard. I start getting cranky. And I know I need to take a morning or a weekend to get myself together.

Do you ever feel like managing your home becomes overwhelming? Are you the “type” of parent you expected to be?

AWTR Show 350: Direct Selling Association

2012-01-16T18:48:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a chat with Amy Robinson, Chief Marketing Officer of the Direct Selling Association.

Resource of the Week: Dogs on Deployment

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Be thankful for your small victories; they may be all that you have.

2012-01-15T03:10:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs a win. Small victories count. There are days where I think, what am I doing with my life? Have you ever felt like you are just accompanying your soldier in his/her life? *raises hand* Me, too. You have to make a win for yourself every single day. You got out of bed and didn't feel utterly exhausted? Win. You not only washed the dishes but you actually put them away? Win. You went through the whole day without feeling the urge to rip your hair out? Win. My win: Doing laundry and actually putting it away. When I do the laundry and put it away, I feel embarrassingly accomplished; like the sort of accomplishment people feel when they earn their bachelor's degree. Yeah. Well, the truth hurts. Small victories are exactly that -- victories.

I've talked about this a few times before, but I am on a weight loss journey. I started on February 23, 2011, and I've lost 73 pounds. Hooray for not being so fat anymore! I mean, I'm still fat -- just less fat at 241 pounds as opposed to 314 pounds. The last month and a half of 2011, I stopped dieting and exercising because of the holidays. Really, I just wanted to pig out and not feel bad about it. Ultimately, I did, but that's beside the point. I let myself gain back 6 pounds of the weight I lost. I felt awful. Through that weight gain, though, I've come to realize that I only knew how to be fat. It's all I've ever known. I'm secure with that person, because I had to learn how to survive with her. Sometimes I wonder, what if I do succeed at this weight loss and it doesn't change how I feel inside? But you know what? It doesn't matter right now. I keep losing sight of my goals because of all the friggin' "What if?" questions. I did what my addiction wanted me to do. Period. I lost sight of my goal. I wasn't celebrating every victory. But. I want more for myself. I want more for my family. I need this win; the biggest win of my life.

My husband ordered me a BodyBugg for Christmas so I can keep track of my calories burned. On January 1st, I decided to make a commitment to myself that I am going to be different. I'm not going to be the Emily who eats like she's on death row every single day. I refuse to let the 6-pound weight gain kill my spirit. I'm going to make better choices for myself. I am going to continue with this journey and see it through, because it is up to me to be the best version of me I can be. No one can live this life for me. No one can lose this weight for me. (Trust me. I tried.) In 2012, this will be my ultimate win, provided the world doesn't end. So far, my small victory is, I've lost the 6 plus 3 more pounds since I started my regimen up again, and I couldn't be any more thrilled with myself. I earned it. I've got a long way to go, but I'll get there. You should join me. You know you want to.

Make the choice.....

2012-01-13T18:51:00.000-08:00

As I type this blog, the show Say Yes to the Dress is on my TV. Why is that blogworthy? Because this isn't Kristen or Star or Nikki or Paula or any one of our guest bloggers that could get away with it being OK to have this show on the TV. No, this is Wayne. One thing that is similiar in my home as it is in many other military spouse homes is when my soldier returned I lost control of the remote.

Before my wife enlisted I would huff and puff about these shows she watches. Well all her shows except Project Runway which I do find rather entertaining. Prior to her deployment there were so many little things that bugged me. But one thing deployment taught me was to not sweat the small stuff.

My wife just returned from her deployment 2 weeks ago so of course we are still in a bit of the honneymoon phase, but I like to think that there is a fairly large amount of things I have learned over the last year that will allow me to make less sarcastic comments and raise a stink when we watch some of these shows.

Deployment was no doubt the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but it was the best learning experience I ever took part in in my life. I won't say I am sitting here looking forward to the next deployment, but if I learn half as much about myself with the next deployment I will be better for it.

There were times during her deployment that I wasn't sure I could make it any longer. I didn't know if I wanted to live this life as a MILspouse. But somewhere around the halfway mark I began to understand that deployment can make or break a marriage, and I chose to let it make mine.

When I made the choice to let the deployment make me a better father, husband and man, it really did become easier. The moment I made the conscious choice to allow all of the hardship that comes with deployment mold me, I found out that I really was better for our year apart. I never would have imagined I could do some of the things I did during her deployment. If nothing else, if you are ever at a dirt track car racetrack and you need your baby's diaper changed, I can get it changed in less than 2 mins without the use of the bleachers or a changing table. And it doesn't matter if it's a poopy or pee-pee diaper.

There all all those expressions like:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
If God brought you to it He will bring you through it.
You don't know how strong you are until you have no other choice but to be strong.
And many more......

Those all seem silly when you are in the midst of working through something, but when you understand how true those statements are things get easier. Luckily for me I understood how true those statements were well before my wife returned so I was able to start working on some "ME" things. I was able to look at some of her show choices not as boring TV, but an appreciation to be sitting next to my bride as I work.

I hope you will do like I did and make the choice to let a deployment, TDY or other seperation make you a better person. Both for yourself and your family.

What's Your History and Who Knows It?

2012-01-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make and I really hate it but it's the way it is and I can't do anything to change it. I know nothing about my family history, at least not any of the things one would like to know I really should say. I don't know where I come from, I can't tell you how many siblings I really have, or even who my father is. No, I am not adopted; yes, I do know where I was born but I don't have a clue what my heritage is. Am I just a mixture, a Heinz 57 type? I cannot tell my children what their heritage is and for that I am disappointed for them.

Today my husband received the news that his Uncle George (his father's oldest sibling and only brother) had suddenly passed away. Uncle George was the family historian per se. He had written two books, more his own biography but with plenty of family history in them as well. I absolutely love the story of how my husband's grandparents, Art & Alice, met. After the stock market crash of 1929, aviation was the up and coming industry. Art, good with his hands, scraped together the money and went to Chicago's Midway airport where you could attend training and become an aircraft mechanic. At the same time, Alice had set her eyes on the same school and training. Yep, she decided to become an airplane mechanic too!

As Uncle George writes, "They sat in the same courses in a sea of young people seeking those exciting new careers and they may never have met if they didn't both sign their tests the same way, A. Swanson. That's where Alice M. met Arthur H. Swanson when the instructor got them mixed up when passing back graded tests. The rest, as we love to say, is history. Wedding bells rang July 15, 1933 making Alice Swanson Alice Swanson!" How cool is that that she didn't even have to change her name?

Is there someone in your family that is the historian? That knows your history and can tell others by passing it down the line? If not, it's never too late to start. Gone are the days that families lived close to one another and shared everything in their life with Uncle Joe, Aunt Sue and all the riffraff cousins down in the "holler". This military life takes us to places we never could have imagined and allows us to become life long friends with others. Include them in your family history. Sometimes the ones not blood-related to us have the most influence in our lives and often times are the ones that offer the most encouragement and support to us. I am so very thankful that I have had those along the way to fill in places that were previously void.

Thank you Uncle George for what you have left behind for us Swanson's. So, what's your history and who knows it?

Kowanda McBride begins duties as AWN's Household 6 (HH6)

2012-01-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT:
ARMY WIFE NETWORK
http://www.armywifenetwork.com/
info@armywifenetwork.com

1316 NW Sheridan Road PMB 303
Lawton, OK 73505
888-866-5041

January 6, 2012

“Kowanda McBride Takes Army Wife Network’s 2012 Household 6!”

LAWTON, OKLAHOMA— Army spouse Kowanda McBride begins duties as Army Wife Network’s Household 6 (HH6) for 2012. Army Wife Network and Kathy Peel, “America’s Family Manager,” aim to strengthen military families and granted one lucky AWN community member a Family Manager University scholarship to become a Certified Family Manager Coach in order to do so. Kowanda won the title after submitting an online entry form at Armywifenetwork.com where she was judged against dozens of other competitors last fall.

Kowanda has been married to her soldier for 11 years. Kowanda feels that a quote from Martha Summerhayes just about sums it up for her life: “I had cast my lot with a Soldier and where he was, was home to me.” She and her husband, Ryan, have one son together.

Although busy manning the home front, Kowanda deems herself a professional volunteer within her military community and is passionate about empowering others to make the most of their military family life too. In her years as an Army wife, Kowanda has been a Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader, an Army Family Team Building (AFTB) Instructor, Red Cross volunteer, and an Army Family Action Plan (AFAP) process participant. She also assists the local animal facility and her son’s school.

It is no strange occurrence in the military to hear the term “Household 6” when referring to the one in charge of the household and Kowanda personifies the title. Militarily inspired, the 6 following a given name signifies the Commander in charge. No matter the name, Household 6s (similarly deemed Family Managers in the “civilian world”) are heavily relied upon to ensure the Home front is functional, balanced and nurturing. Kowanda and the other CFMCs on AWN’s team can be consulted to ensure that if yours is not, it can be!

As the HH6, she plans to share the insight and knowledge gained from her personal experiences as a military wife as well as the knowledge gained via “Family Manager University.” You can follow her progress, gain valuable advice, and contact our coaches at ArmyWifeNetwork.com, our blog LovingASoldier.com, or both Family Manager’s and Army Wife Network’s facebook pages.

Represented in the contest prize package as well were military supporters USAA, Jane Wayne Gear, and WireACake. Debora George of WireACake.com expressed a common sentiment; “We appreciate all our military families and understand that sending packages is an expression of love and support. Thank you AWN for the sweet opportunity to be an All American Sponsor.” Debora and AWN were both pleased when Kowanda in turn donated back her WireACake to a currently deployed soldier. Just one more example of why AWN is proud of their 2012 Household 6 choice. Enlist Kowanda and our other coaches to help you get organized and improve your military family life today.

###

Kathy Peel quoted as saying “Strong families build a strong country” is called America’s Family Manager. She is founder and CEO of Family Manager Coaching, a company that trains women worldwide to build strong families and happy, organized homes. She has written 21 books, which have sold over 2 million copies. She writes a weekly Family Manager Blog for AOL’s ParentDish and serves on Parenting magazine's Moms Squad Board of Experts. She is a popular conference speaker and media personality with repeat appearances on programs such as Oprah, Today, The Early Show, and CNN Headline News. Check out http://www.familymanager.com/ for helpful downloads, organizing tools and tips for being a great Family Manager.

Army Wife Network is the internet’s leading Web site for Army Wives, by Army Wives. We boast the only internet talk radio show designed specifically for military spouses – Army Wife Talk Radio – in its fifth year of broadcasting. To find out more about AWN’s history and interactive empowerment tools please visit our Web site at http://www.armywifenetwork.com/. There are several coaches standing by to help you achieve those 2012 Household 6 related goals.

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AWTR Show 349: Pro-American Rock Band Madison Rising

2012-01-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio a talk with Dave Bray from Pro-American rock band Madison Rising.

Resource of the Week: Project Foot

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

I've got moxie, and I know how to use it!

2012-01-09T12:42:00.001-08:00

I finally broke down (literally) and saw my doctor. And then another doctor, y'know, the talking kind of doctor. It turns out that while it may be 'normal' for me to get up 3-4 times during the night and check all the locks on all the doors, it is not the regular kind of normal. Who knew?

Compounding the locks, and some other stuff which I will spare you, my dear readers, is the fact that I am very shy. If you met me in real life, you wouldn't meet me. Though I may volunteer a lot, can I tell you something? The thought of speaking in front of a group of people terrifies me. Our Family Readiness Support Assistant surprised me by having the Brigade Commander give me a coin. I didn't speak to her for weeks. And I dropped the coin. In front of the Colonel.

But with a lot of talking, I have decided to start speaking up for myself. For 2012, this is my mantra-"I've got moxie, and I know how to use it!" Are you going to keep me waiting for over an hour to give me something that you said you would have ready for me at this time last week? You betcha I'm going to be the teensiest bit 'unprofessional'. Spreading rumors about my company? I will put them down with a quickness. And yes, I will get those slightly cheeky bumper magnets for an FRG fundraiser. Let me show you how popular they are.

I will have to walk that razor thin line between 'moxie' and 'witchiness'. And yes it will be a struggle, both for me and those who knew me before the 'moxification'. If you are my true friend, you will stick by me. If you are not my friend yet, maybe you will be. And hopefully, my moxie will inspire you as well. Hopefully, you can help me not to fade into the background again.

Volunteering - A Resolution You Can Keep!

2012-01-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

I know many people see January and the new year as a chance to make resolutions for the year to come. Some want to lose weight and others want to change careers or save more money. I like to see resolutions more as personal goals for the new year. Things that you want to accomplish and goals that you can strive toward.

I like most feel like the new year offers me a clean slate and I do lay out personal goals for myself that I hope to accomplish throughout the year. One goal I make every year is to give back through volunteering. There are many excuses people come up with when it comes to the "v" word. Well, I am here to tell you about the many benefits that come from volunteering.

Volunteering can give people a chance to explore a new career field. For a military spouse who is having a hard time finding a job - you can volunteer doing something in your field or something that you are interested in. There is also the possibility that this could lead to a full-time paid position. Volunteering can offer you a wide network of people and contacts that can lead to many great opportunities. You can make lasting friendships and have a ton of fun, all while increasing your experience in a career field. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, especially if you are new to an area.

Volunteering can also set a good example for your family. I have taught my kids that it is important to give back to others and to our community and one way to do that is through volunteering. I have taken my kids to many events and functions I have volunteered for because I want them to see me giving back and model that for them. Volunteering is also a great way to get your kids out of the house. It is so easy nowadays for our children to get swept up in television, computers, and video games. Give your children the opportunity to volunteer along with you and let them experience the feeling of helping others and giving back.

That is one of the biggest benefits to volunteering - the feeling of knowing that you have helped. No matter how small or how big the project or event - you are helping! In my book, there is nothing like the feeling of knowing that I helped someone else or I worked to improve something in my community.

This year I encourage everyone to find something that interests them and find a way to give back! You can go to your local ACS (Army Community Service) on post and they can offer you a variety of volunteer positions. You can contact organizations such as Blue Star Families (www.bluestarfam.org) and volunteer your time to organizations working to make a difference! Your children may enjoy such groups as the Boy and Girl Scouts. These organizations strive to teach children about the value of volunteering and making a difference! You can also visit Volunteers of America (www.voa.org) and Volunteer Match (www.volunteermatch.org). These sites can help you find opportunities near you where you can volunteer!

So this year, find a friend or two, find an opportunity, and give back!! You will be glad you did! This is one resolution you can definitely keep and have fun at the same time!

Janet

Permission to be Miffed at Gumby, Ma'am!

2012-01-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend and I just got done with a back and forth of HeyTell (it's an app on the iPhone) tag about how her PCS wasn't being executed quiet the way she had in her plan. It threw her for a loop and she just needed someone to vent to that would understand. Oh how I understand.

I'm a planner. This comes as no surprise to many of you who have known and followed our blog for years. But I don't know if you know how much of a planner I really am.

I "suffer" from ADD. I say that in quotes because I don't believe it is much of a suffer for anyone but those who think or are bothered by the fact that I talk too fast, can't stay on topic, and have fifteen projects going on at one time. For me, that's not suffering - that productivity!

I am who I am and when I try to "fix" what they tell me ails me it leads to a very unhappy me. I'll take the happy, productive, fast paced, crazy hair on fire girl who gets things done. But, alas, someone or some thing has to keep me organized or you'll hear me saying "oh look, a squirrel!" and then I'm off again. I honestly believe - and so do the experts - that my incessant need for organization is where my planner personality was derived. In other words, it's my self-learned coping mechanism.

I live by my outlook calendar. If I don't write it down, or it isn't in an email then you can forget it. Yes, I often email myself things throughout the day as random thoughts cross my mind. I never say I'll do something I don't write down immediately. Because if I say I'll do it. I'll do it.

Likewise, I am not one to be very understanding when you say that you'll do it and then you don't. You won't find me smiling when an appointment gets cancelled. I'm not the one you find doing "spur of the moment" things - unless I've planned to not have a plan! :)

So I told her I understood. It's all relative, you know. We can wish for the freedom that spontaneity provides. We can "Semper Gumby!" through this military life - with a plan to plan for nothing but inevitable change. But for us planners, we need permission for it to be ok if we get miffed when it doesn't go our way.

I Commute With tanks

2012-01-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

No, really, I do. My daily commute consists of my sharing the road with military tactical vehicles. Are they even called tanks anymore? This is just one thing that defines my life as an Army Wife. After ten years, it is now "my norm"... I'd probably freak out if I didn't see a tank or two. The really weird thing is, growing up, I thought tanks and Army guys were just something the boys played with. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to grow up somewhere other than the United States, where tanks on city streets and Camouflage are standard police equipment. Needless to say, I never imagined "this" as my life.

Here at Fort Stewart, pretty much everything is associated with a tank, or two, even. Goodness gracious, even the Commanding General is a tank~ no, really, it's true...his name is Abrams. Yep, Abrams, as in the tank. The tank wasn't named for him obviously, but it was named for his grandfather. I never thought soldier guy would work for a tanker.

The weird thing for me is, while I had never even seen a tank outside of a museum, my little ladies have no clue that "normal" people rarely see them at all. I can remember when my best friend was stationed here at Stewart right out of high school; the first time I came to visit I about peed my pants driving to Savannah and seeing a tank cross the road right in front of me on 144. I had no clue Army guys actually drove them aside from war. Yes, just like the rest of America, I had seen them invade Iraq the first time (3ID, I might add... now that i know just about all of 3ID history), but I did not know they actually had to practice to do that! To my girls, hotties with hair cut shorter than an inch, Kevlar, Camo, and even tanks are normal. In fact, the rule of thumb in our Army land is no boys with "short hair". They may be to young to really understand what I mean when I say it, but I still do. My tweeny girl is starting to figure it all out though...I think.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't take it all for granted. We will all miss it one day when, a few years into retirement, we are driving on a city street an there isn't a tank in sight.

Oh What a Year!

2012-01-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

The tree is down. The decorations are packed away. Another Christmas and New Year has come and gone. Tomorrow is the start of another work week and the routine begins again. I can't say I'm ready for that, but I guess it has to happen at some point! I'm sure every January first I say the same thing, "Where did the year go?"

This last year went especially fast, although at many times during 2011 I felt like it couldn't go fast enough. At this time last year, our family was counting the days we had left together before my husband deployed to Iraq. We finally had a confirmed date and bags and trunks were being packed. It felt like the end of one journey and the beginning of another one. We had known about the deployment for 18 months prior to the actual date, and by this point we were ready to get it started and over with. Once the final goodbyes were said and the kids and I really were on our own, a whole new journey began...one that at many times was long and lonely. At other times, it was filled with self-discovery and fun adventures. As the year progressed and the rumors of a shortened deployment became reality, the end of 2011 took on new meaning for us. One of incredible happiness and relief, our Soldier was safe and he was coming home just in time for Christmas. We couldn't has asked for a better way to end the year. It was certainly a roller coaster of a year, but it was also one that gave our family great strength and appreciation for our blessings. For so many reasons, 2011 was an incredible year and one that I will look back on with fond memories.

And now as we start this new year, I look forward to what it brings with great anticipation. I know that we can handle whatever we are faced with and that we will get through it together. Each year in the past I have made resolutions, only to break them within a few days - lose a few pounds, read more books, wake up earlier in the mornings, etc. - but this year I decided not to make any resolutions. Rather this year I am going to continue how I ended the last year - putting my family and faith first, realizing the things that are truly important in life, and learning who I really am and that I am strong. It seemed to work pretty well for me last year, why change a good thing? I am just happy to be entering into the new year with a positive outlook and excitement for what is to come, rather than dreading the unknown.

For those who are entering this new year in the same place that I was last year, facing the unknowns a deployment, I hope that you find peace and strength in the months to come. Having just reached that finish line, I can say it was one of the most challenging experiences of my life, and while I am not eagerly anticipating the next one, I am incredibly thankful for the experience. It has left me with feelings of great pride and accomplishment that not many other life experiences could bring.

I hope 2012 brings great joy, an abundance of love, and much peace to you and your household.

Happy New Year!

Who am I?

2011-12-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

I don’t know, but I intend to find out in 2012. Sure I’m a Christian Army wife, veteran, mother, and … the list goes on. It does, but those are one word answers with much room for interpretation by some. I really have a hard time articulating what those titles mean to me and what I want them to mean to others.

One thing I wouldn’t say I am is a resolution maker. But, I do take the down time every year between Christmas and the new year to ask where that year took me and where I will go next. “Go” obviously in the metaphorical sense. My resolutions (that I don’t make (lol)) aren’t about weight or fitness, time and scheduling, nail biting, or clutter management. They’re more conceptual, over arching all those I just mentioned, at least the ones I’ve been keeping track of in recent years are.

2008: Follow through on promptings

All those nice things I think of doing, but used to never get around to, I try to do them!

Sometimes it comes at a cost, sometimes it’s a burden, but I’ve never been sorry.

From calling someone out of the blue to ask “how are you” to changing the direction my kitchen table faces, those strong urges (not whims) prompt me to change the present into a moment I own and one that makes me happy, in the moment and in the long run.

I can’t tell you how much more in control I feel. I’m not always successful, but I do find that I hear less “I told you so’s” say less “I should have’s” and feel less like I could kick myself for not following through in recent years.

2009: Stand on my own two feet

Physically and mentally. You ought to give this a try.

I’m not saying, “Don’t stand on other people’s feet.” I’m saying, “Use both of your feet.”

It’s good for your posture, and it is a physical reminder to stay grounded with perspective and that you can stand for yourself. 2009 was the year I didn’t think I could do another deployment—that I couldn’t be apart from my other half once again.

A good friend reminded me that I was not half of a whole. I was 100% of myself. 1 +1 made 2; David and I were better together, but I was just fine on my own before David. I’d be just fine (capable of 100%) until he came home again.

2010: Keep promises

This principle mostly reminded me not to make promises too quickly. A page from the book of Ecclesiastes says too big of dreams and too many words are meaningless. I remember a pile of times where I thought I was doing some good by overpromising only to eventually realize I either couldn’t deliver or sacrificed too much to do so. It’s true what they say, if you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else. Therefore my promises have become few and far between.

2011: Ask, “are you?”

Don’t make assumptions. Don’t try to read people’s minds. Just literally ask how they are.

We all do it: sign our letters with “I trust you’re doing well” or “I hope this finds you well.” Adding “;are you?” has opened up many opportunities for me to listen, advise, and more importantly learn from others.

2012: Find myself!

The principles of past years aren’t thrown out each year. They’re comprehensive, each one making the last mean more and each one informing my next step. Even as I look at what I learned from each, I gain sight of myself and know I have a good start. But 2012 is about getting certain of myself.

Recently, I made a statement about my character or personality, and a friend stopped me to check I was using the right word. “That’s not at all how others see you.” she said bringing to the forefront a huge disconnect between who I say I am and who I really am, the good and the bad.

Plenty of times people hear me say what I can’t do as I compare myself to them. I can’t cook. I can’t remember things. I can’t see the point in my learning how to sew, how to paint (living rooms and bedrooms), or how to decorate cookies. I’ve noticed other people seem to enjoy doing these things a whole bunch, but they’re not “me.” The problem is I don’t know what is, really. I like to read, but I’m not a reader. I have a hard time remembering character details, plots, and settings very long after I’ve put the book down. I can’t compare and contrast authors or stories much. Same goes for music and album names, backup singers, and song titles, but I like music.

And that's just the easy stuff. I have a long way to get down the hard stuff and decide what I can do, what I like to do, what I want to be known or remembered for, and if I care enough about the things I can't do to learn them or appreciate them.

Have any of you had a year like this, one where you just focussed on discovering yourself? It sounds more selfish than it really is. It's time we start believing that taking care of ourselves helps us take care of others. So call it taking a dose of my own medicine or finally walking the talk. Call it what you will, as long as this time next year you call me "happy with who she is."

________
Similar posts from our Loving A Soldier archives:

I get by, thanks to my friends
Open House
Faith, Hope, and Love

Post With The Most- Ft. Sam Houston

2011-12-29T17:33:00.000-08:00

No matter where our lives take us in this military life, one of the greatest things to experience is the different cities, communities and cultures along our travels. No matter where we go, if we embrace the experiences we encounter at each Post, every Post can in fact be the Post With The Most.

This month we took a look at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas and on our AWN main website installation section we had the help of Tara Burkholder answer some questions. This blog is some of the information she provided but also my own personal experiences there.

San Antonio is the country's 7th most populous city. San Antonio offers a very diverse community with a fairly large Hispanic population.

San Antonio is also considered Military City, U.S.A. because of the surrounding military installations in or around the city. Military City, U.S.A. is exactly what I would call this community because of my own personal experiences there and the love and assistance of the community even though it is so large and easy to get swallowed up by.

When my wife first enlisted she ended up doing her 68W (Combat Medic) training there. After she spent nearly three months at BCT and knowing AIT was four months with deployment being a very real possibility after she graduated, we decided to move myself and the boys to San Antonio for any opportunity to see her on the weekends or during the week. Of course we didn't see her as much as we would have liked because of her busy schedule, but it did allow us to experience one of the best military communities I would guess to be out there.

We lived off post in one of the MANY apartment complexes within close proximity to Post. The apartment complex was so helpful to the military community that they bent over backwards and allowed us to sign only a 4 month lease.

Within just 10 minutes of Post there are dozens of apartment complexes. Some are better than others so you should do some homework on the area. Living within close proximity to Post is something I would strongly encourage due to traffic and congestion on the highways and byways (in San Antonio they are known as loops and the highway system resembles a wagon wheel). San Antonio is a very large city in terms of square mileage and if you are looking for a home you could still be in San Antonio but have an almost 45 minute commute to get to Post.

Another neat thing we found out about San Antonio was that it almost has a love affair for pets, namely dogs. I am not sure how many the city has exactly, but I know we visited somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 dog parks in the 4 months we were there.

San Antonio is also home to some incredible attractions. The River Walk is a major hot spot for dining, dancing and drinks. But it also is home to The Alamo. No matter where this military life brings us both my son and I will always remember that he was able to experience a full week of summer camp ON THE VERY GROUNDS where Davy Crockett and James Bowie fought The Battle of the Alamo.

While in San Antonio we did also use our single day free admission for military members and their dependants to Sea World. Unfortunately we didn't make it over to Six Flags Fiesta Texas.

Within just a 5 minute drive out the gates there is also an incredible water park called Splash Town. But if you are looking for a great way to cool off during the long, hot, humid summers that San Antonio has and don't want to spend any money, you can go to one of the pools on post and enjoy some water slides there.

All in all, I found our experience at Fort Sam Houston to be an incredible one. I can't wait to get back there and soak up all the diversity and fun it has to offer. After all, with Fort Sam being the medical training post for most of the Army (as well as other branches) there is a high likelihood of us heading back there as my wife furthers her career.

Until next time.... don't forget where you are stationed can be the Post With The Most if you look at it with an open mind.

do it for YOU!

2011-12-27T14:08:00.000-08:00

Have you made your New Year's resolutions yet?

Last year, my resolution was the cliche, to lose ten pounds. I am happy to say that I have completed that goal and then some and am currently sitting at thirty pounds lost so far! Some days, I don't believe how far I've come, but on the days that I put on a piece of clothing that I haven't been able to wear for years and it fits, I am amazed and it helps to keep me going.

I personally feel that it is important to make New Year's Resolutions. Mostly because it gives you a chance to show yourself what you are made of. It all starts and ends with you. Which leads me to my one suggestion when thinking of a resolution... make sure you are doing it for yourself, and no one else. If you start with doing something for yourself, you have a better chance of finishing it because you start to realize and see that you are worth it and your world becomes brighter for it.

Let me say... it took me way to long to realize this.

This year, my resolutions are just to keep up with eating healthier and exercising and to finish Photography School. This time next year I hope to be blogging about how I've toned up my body and have become certified as a Professional Photographer. Needless to say I am excited and look forward to what the next year will hold and the challenges and rewards that I will face during it.

What are your resolutions? Have you had great success with them in the past?

Positive Spin Perspective

2011-12-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

The year 2012 is fast approaching. Can you believe it is just weeks away? You know, I don’t ever make New Year resolutions. I just never have. This year I think I might, but maybe in a little different way. I am going to challenge myself. I’m calling it my PSP - Positive Spin Perspective - challenge. That’s a mouth full, huh? I’m extending this challenge to all of our AWN fans and ask that you join me in creating a brighter perspective.

Before I go into the challenge let me tell you why I’m doing this. First, I’m sure you can agree that spending energy on the negative or things I can’t control is draining. Practicing gratitude will increase how I feel psychologically and socially. The more I practice gratitude the more negative emotions will decrease. Second, I would like to inspire someone. Just one person would be great. I don’t have to inspire the whole world. If I can inspire one person to think more positively than maybe they can inspire one person and so on.

How will I do this challenge? Simple, I’m going to keep a gratitude journal. I learned about gratitude journals when I took the Spouse Resiliency course at ACS earlier this year. That was the single most enlighting and useful class I’ve ever taken. The goal of the journal is to write down three things every day for which you are grateful. You also write down why you are grateful for them and how you can have this good thing happen again. These things we are grateful for don’t have to be big life or world changing things. Just simple things like having shelter, food, happy kids, etc. The reason for writing down the things we are grateful for is so that we can go back and read them so we are reminded of these good things. Taking time to be grateful isn’t about ignoring the bad things. Practicing gratefulness just helps us focus more attention on the positive.

Brother David Steindl-Rast said, “We have thousands of opportunities every day to be grateful: for having good weather, to have slept well last night, to be able to get up, to be healthy, to have enough to eat…There’s opportunity upon opportunity to be grateful ; that’s what life is.” I think I will write this down and tape it up in every room of my house. Just to remind me.

So, go out and get a notebook or a journal and get ready. Starting January 1, 2012 I’m starting my journal and I want you to start with me. Every week I will try and post something for which I am grateful on Facebook. You can comment on my comment with something for which you are grateful. After all, we have opportunities upon opportunities to recognize our blessings!

The Courage of My Army Wife!

2011-12-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

This poem was written this morning and sent to me by one of the sweetest men I know. He is retired Army, but he is also my CO with the Tennessee State Guard. I asked if I could share this with you and he agreed. For every Army wife and (DUDE), your courage does not go unnoticed! And if you share this, PLEASE give the author credit. He deserves it and it's the right thing to do. ~Paula~
Those who give most are the families at home
The wives and the children, adrift and alone
Not knowing the fates of the soldiers they love
When all they can do is send prayers up above

The soldiers at least have each other to hear
Their worries and trials, their doubts and their fear
With soldiers in front and with soldiers behind
They face it together, so fate has been kind
To allow that the troops may assist one another
And they become family…and closer than brothers

We TROOPS stand in awe of the courage made known
Of the family that’s waiting to greet us back home
Courage that’s greater than risking your life
THAT is the courage of my Army WIFE!

By: Gilbert D. Cameron, U.S. Army (RET)

AWTR Show 346: AWN Holiday Show

2011-12-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

This week on AWTR we’re featuring the AWN Holiday Show chalked full of recipes, holiday traditions, music, movies, and of course PRIZES! Join us for a farewell to 2011 as we do our last show of the season. We’ll be back on 01-09-12 with all new shows to ring in the New Year. In the meantime, take a peek at our archives at www.armywifenetwork.com under PODCAST.

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Household 6's 12 Tips For Christmas

2011-12-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

1. Keep your organization right by your side! Check out some of the many smart phone applications that can help you to keep things straight. One of my favorite apps is Grocery Guru- it’s lets me keep my grocery list and pantry inventory with me all the time. If I’m home and need my husband to pick a couple things up, I can email straight from the application to my husband. There are apps for grocery shopping, recipes, tracking gifts, and keeping tabs on your budget.

2. Make a list and check it twice! Make a list of people you plan to gift. Note their favorites (color, sweaters, funky socks, etc) and sizes. Decide what you will gift and go get it. Then, just check it off. This method will work for those of you who shop all year long and store gifts and for those of you who shop during the season. However you choose to organize yourself it will certainly help from gift giving to party planning.

3. If party planning is on your list, go potluck! Spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your friends and family. Have the host provide a main dish (turkey, ham, maybe lasagna?) and invite each guest to bring their favorite holiday side dish! You get some variety, learn something about each guest and spend less time out of the room.

4. To spend less time and money on hostess gifts, choose a small, pretty craft that you can make in large batches. One of my favorites this year is sugar scrubs. I found several sugar scrub recipes that have similar ingredients and spent an afternoon mixing and packing them into jelly jars. With a little ribbon and pretty label printed off my computer, I have a stack of gifts that will encourage the recipient to take the time to care of herself! That’s my kind of thank you.

5. If you are shopping in the last few days before Christmas, go with a plan. Know what store you are going to and what item you are looking for. These busy shopping times make it very difficult to browse! To avoid dealing with parking, have a friend or spouse drop you off and pick you up while they’re running another errand and then return the favor!

6. Use for freezer! Find recipes that can be made a month before so you won't have to worry about meal planning and preparation on those busy weeknights leading up to the holidays. Do the same for your holiday meals. Many rolls can be made up to a week before the meal and frozen. Mashed potatoes, and some casseroles can be made the day before and kept in the fridge overnight. Choose a dessert that can be made a day or two before the big day so you don’t spend Christmas morning listening to your family playing in another room!

7. Remember, when filling out your calendar with parties, shopping and goodwill to make sure you schedule time for fun. Go see the Nutcracker, community Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony or sit with the family looking at family photos while sipping hot chocolate and eating Christmas cookies. There’s no need to over commit! Nothing takes the fun out of the holidays faster than over committing.

8. Find fabulous ideas for making Christmas special! One of my favorite finds this year to tape streamers to the kid’s bedroom door after they go to sleep so on Christmas morning they get to break through the streamers like it’s Monday night football! My two year old might just bounce off this year, but I’m keeping it in mind for when he’s bigger!

9. Plan ahead for your cherished family traditions. Gather whatever supplies you will need to help keep the tradition enjoyable.

10. Plan ahead with gifts. A friend of mine has cabinet that I call the gift closet. What my friend does is buy gifts throughout the year and then stores them in this cabinet. This way she has emergency gifts on hand for any occasion and she can keep Christmas presents hidden. Some ideas are to keep on hand are scented candles, bud vases, card games, specialty teas and coffees and those homemade salt or sugar scrubs.

11. As Christmas winds down and you’re packing things away, take the time to inventory your decorations. Are the lights burning out? Ornaments broken? A stocking have a hole? By inventorying your supplies while you are handling them, you’ll be a step ahead next year and able to hit up the after Christmas sales.

12. Storage! I recently found at fabulous blog Design a la Mod for storing Christmas ornaments without buying expensive specially designed containers. So our number ten tip is using plastic cups and a piece of cardboard, any plastic tub becomes a perfect home for ornaments the rest of the year.

If you're looking for help with your holidays, check out Army Wife Network's Holiday Planning Pages!

My hair is pink to match my shoes and purse. Wait. You don't do that, too?

2011-12-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to dye my hair pink. I never did, because, really, I didn’t think I could pull it off. I was worried about looking sickly. Pink hair and my complexion? Not to mention, I wasn’t sure what people would think. I’m a mom. Moms don’t dye their hair pink, right? My husband is an officer (like that even matters). Do military spouses dye their hair pink? Not that I’ve seen. Oddly enough, my husband was the one to push me to get it done. Evidently, I was more concerned about his colleagues than he was. Have I mentioned my husband is pretty awesome? Well, he is. (This is subject to change when Christmas rolls around.)

In August, I had a huge chunk of my hair dyed pink. I loved it. The only problem was… there wasn’t enough pink. There is a salon in my apartment building, so I decided use the little bit of Korean I knew how to speak and see if they can dye all of my hair pink. Well, after a whole lot of charades and blank stares, they found an English-speaking Korean woman who works across the way at a coffee shop. She conveyed my wants and their concerns about my hair falling out. (What?!)

I dyed it, and I loved it. I could live without the stares, but in Korea, I’m going to be stared at anyway. I might as well give them something good to stare at. The pink faded, and I was back and forth about whether I wanted to dye it again or go back to my natural color, brunette. The deciding factor? Tom had a Holiday Ball this evening, which we just came back from. (We’re in Korea, so it’s almost the 16th of December here!) Of course, I had to dye my hair pink again just for the ball. I needed my hair to match my shoes and purse. Isn’t that how it works? You dye your hair to match your shoes? I’m not much of a girly girl, but I’m pretty sure I’m right. (On a side note, I got my pink shoes and little black dress custom made here in Korea. I love living here. Never have I owned a pair of heels that didn’t kill my huge size 10W feet. Never have I worn a dress where I didn’t feel like ten pounds of potatoes squeezed in a five-pound sack. Awesome!) That's my sexy face. -> (Isn't my husband the luckiest man in the world?)

When was the last time you did something for the first time? When was the last time you did something for you? Something that, for the most part, no one else can benefit from except you. When was the last time you did something that made you genuinely happy? Kids are great. Husbands are awesome (most of the time). Your career may be chugging along perfectly, but what about you? Yeah. YOU. You can’t be everything for everyone every time. I’m writing about my pink hair, not because I want to talk about how fabulous it is (I mean it is, but that’s beside the point), but I want to tell you, if you want to do something, do it. No matter how ridiculous you think it might be, or how worried you are about what other people think, or if you’re not sure you can pull it off. How in the world are you going to know unless you try? It may be a total failure; it may be one big ol’ crash and burn. But. It may also be the most kick ass thing you’ve done in a long time. It may also be what changes your life. How would you know? My pink hair doesn’t make me look sickly after all. It makes me look like a rock star. And guess what? I’m okay with that.

AWTR Show 345: Where Soldiers Come From

2011-12-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a view of “Where Soldiers Come From”.

Resource of the Week: Reach Out And Read

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Bouncing back

2011-12-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

It has taken me quite a bit of time to actually sit down and write about this, so please forgive me. As I sit here, I honestly am a bit unsure of where I am actually going, but as I have gone through my own process, I have learned along the way about all the women that have endured very similar struggles. My husband and I have been married 3.5 years, and want so badly to have children.

Last February, we were blessed to learn that we were having twins! Wow, the shock, excitement, and panic all at once! We got to about 11 weeks and went in for a routine appointment to find out that we have lost both babies. Again with the shock. We were never actually "told" we had lost them, there were so many different phrases used about things but none actually solidified the truth. Since I hadn't heard those dreadful words, I decided not to believe it just yet.

An hour after being prodded, the poor young man doing my ultrasound called a doctor in the give us the news. He walked in and said "Sorry, there's nothing viable left." And....that was it. Bless that ultrasound tech. He put his hand on our shoulders, nodded, and left the room. Just that silent moment of understanding from him was so helpful. I now had a nice little baby bump, and no babies. Surgery was scheduled and away we went.

I had about 5 days before surgery due to Easter, so I spent lots of time on the couch, crying, emotional, and shutting myself off from the world. We had just moved to a nonmilitary town about 5 months before, so we knew nobody, and never had I missed my Army Wife friends like I did at that time in life. I learned so much about so many people at that point, and I learned that miscarriage is not something people publicly share, yet, when another goes through it, the stories of strength and understanding, and most importantly the beautiful babies that came after miscarriages on many occasions offered me a new life, a new hope, and the ability to slowly start to build myself back up. I learned about dear friends that lost babies, and I had no idea. As people reached out to me, I felt that even though we are spread out all over the world, we not only had that Army bond, but this common bond of understanding.

So, my main reason to write about this.....if you have or are going through some form of loss, be it miscarriage, family, friend, anything- you are not alone. When you allow yourself to open up to people, it seems difficult, yet, it will strengthen your bond with them and you will not be alone. Hold their hand, even if its "virtually" and let them help you stand back up. You might even learn something about them in the process.

It took me many months, but I am finally back to feeling like my old self, both physically and mentally, and thanks to the love and the support of my family and my friends, we are ready for whatever the future has in store for us. God willing, it is a growing family.

To all of my battle buddies, specially the ladies of AWN, I thank you. You continue to remain dear friends, my Army family, and my strength and I love you all. I could not have gotten by without you as a part of my journey.

Passion...do you have it?

2011-12-12T17:09:00.000-08:00

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word passion? I would venture to say most think of being passionate in more of a physical sense. But, we can be passionate about many things. There is passion for someone else, rooting your favorite sports team or having a passion for a hobby. Whatever it is choose it. But in doing so, don't lose your perspective.

I "attended" a webinar last week on volunteering. While the instruction was geared toward volunteering and not over-extending ourselves, it can also be a reminder to the other areas of passion in our lives. Sometimes we get so involved in things in our lives that we do lose our perspective. Perspective is defined as the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance. Take a moment and evaluate where the passions are in your life.

Be passionate but be ever diligent and don't lose your perspective. Period.

Tis' the season

2011-12-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

With the holiday season in full swing, it is a little difficult for me to give way to "the holiday spirit". Like so many families these holidays are looking to be spent with me and the boys here, and my wife in Afghanistan. There is a 99% chance my wife will not make it home before Christmas day. Christmas is the holiday we celebrate in our house. She will hopefully be back not long after, but we will still be waking on Christmas morning without our family being complete.

Elvis Presley sung a song called Blue Christmas, the lyrics hold true for so many of us as missing our spouse for the holidays can be awfully challenging. In our home my wife is the one who makes the house all "holiday pretty". She is crafty and has an eye for detail. Me on the other hand, well are any of you married to a guy who no matter how old he gets it still looks like a 7 year old wrapped the presents? Cuz my wife sure married one.

This morning I finally pulled myself together long enough to go ahead and wrap the kids gifts. As I cut crooked lines and the paper tore as I tried doing that neat trick where you slice through the paper like butter, I started to think of what kind of Scrooge I am being.

Typically the tree and decorations are all out the day after Thanksgiving. This year the Halloween decoration is still on the door because I keep forgetting to take it down(brb... gonna go grab it now-OK... I am back. Now the UPS guy won't be able to go home and tell his wife that he's not the biggest procrastinating male around).

I have found it very difficult to get into the holiday spirit. But as I did what resembled Frankenstein patchwork on the Christmas gifts this morning where I didn't quite measure properly, I had this feeling of guilt overcome me. It started with me not making the holidays special for my kids. Even if the house isn't as pretty as mom would make it and the tree is trimmed like a blind Edward Scissorhands(google him), I still must pull it together to make this as special a holiday season for the boys.

I think the moment when I really understood how important it was for me to do what I can to make these holidays the best they can be was the moment I thought of families who are not going to be together this holiday season, or any other holiday season.

While I have been having my own personal pity party because momma won't be here on Christmas morning, there are survivors out there who are holding themselves together the best they can.

War is an ugly thing. Too many lives are lost too soon. I can't help but to think if I don't make this holiday season the very best for my family this year that I will be doing an injustice to the men and women who have afforded me this luxury.

It's all too easy to get wrapped up in missing our deployed spouse, but instead of making this a Blue Christmas I am going to make it a Green Christmas.

For Thanksgiving the boys and I joined a fellow military MANspouse and his family for some turkey dinner. It was my first major holiday spent without my wife. And even though they didn't replace her, they were an incredible substitute. There was no question that they knew what it was like with my wife not around. There weren't any thoughts of feeling out of place. I had an EXTREMELY Green Thanksgiving because of our Green (Army) Family.

I can't say for certain how the boys and I will spend Christmas(outside of watching some NBA basketball on TV). My wife will be home so soon afterwards that we will be waiting for her for our gift giving. But I do know this, we are going to spend it with much thankfulness and an even greater appreciation for one another.

With the Halloween decorations now off the front door there is only one thing left to do, pull out the Christmas tree and lights and make our house as full of the holiday spirit as possible.

Be Bold

2011-12-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

It Couldn't Be Done: Edgar Guest

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it";
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

I have always loved this poem. Perhaps it's because I harbor grand schemes of doing great things. Sprinkled all over Fort Benning, there are posters showing soldiers in training, and at the top of the poster, it reads, "What have YOU done for this Fort Benning Soldier today?" About 6 months ago, I asked myself, "What HAVE I done for this Fort Benning Soldier today?" Since I was a time zone away visiting my family, the answer was- nothing. But an idea was planted. I was going to make quilts for Fort Benning soldiers, more specifically, the Fort Benning soldiers in Big Sarge's unit in Afghanistan. Before you all thing this was a HUGE operation, his unit is quite small, only 20 or so guys.

I started cutting up blue jeans. I started asking for donations of old blue jeans. The rear detatchment (with the blessing of the rear detatchment commander) donated their time to cut quilt squares for me. I sewed in every spare minute I had.

Were there people who thought I couldn't do it? You betcha. The term 'hair-brained' was thrown around with great abandon. Thanks, Mom. But she and Grandma made a few quilts, too, so I guess maybe deep down she really thought it was a good idea, too.

And just yesterday, the last of the packages of quilts made their way to Afghanistan. Just in time for Christmas, Big Sarge's unit is going to be toasty warm. I'm already planning ahead for next Christmas. Anyone know a company in South Korea I could 'adopt'?

Is there something that people say you can't do? Let's just pretend it's not breaking the land speed record in on-post housing. Your friendly MP's tend to frown on that sort of thing. Maybe someone tells you that you can't go back to school. Or that you won't qualify for that job. Or that you will never finish that novel about time-traveling pirates. (I'd totally read that, by the way.)Or you don't have what it takes.

Firstly-find some new people to hang out with.

Secondly-be bold. Be ambitious. Take a chance. You never know what you can accomplish until you TRY. Even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped for, you will be better off because of the attempt.

Holiday Cheers!

2011-12-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

This holiday season is especially important to me because it will be the last time I will be living under my parents’ roof before FINALLY getting to live with my husband. While it is so exciting to finally feel like an adult, I am both sad and scared. I have always enjoyed the traditions of Christmas that my parents instilled in me and after this year I will be blending my traditions along with my husbands. Every year, I get super excited when Dad drags out our fake Christmas tree and all the decorations. When I was kid, I loved helping my Dad put the ornaments on, but since going to college I can’t wait to get home so I can open the front door and see all the magic! Every year he buys a new wreath for the front door and it is the first thing I comment on. Going through the hallway, our homemade stockings are hung with bows and little stuffed animals on the railings. Finally, in the living room is the Christmas tree! Every year I squeal with delight!

Growing up, I never remember making cookies, but I had the joy of experiencing baking cookies all day about 3 years ago with both my now mother-in-law and sister-in-law. While I pretty much watched in awe, I loved the idea of spending time with family while baking. I even got to dip some of the cookies in chocolate. Thus, the following year I baked with my mom and we had so much fun! I can’t wait to make cookies and red velvet rolls this year with my mom and hopefully I can convince my husband to help too!

My husband’s family also always has a live tree. While the needles and remembering to water the tree are a pain, I forgot the amazing smell of a real tree! It is so refreshing and just makes me all jolly inside. It is also so much fun watching his family decorate and reminisce about each ornament. I can’t wait to have our real tree next year, but he keeps saying I have to go cut one down to fully experience getting a real tree. Wish me luck!

While I thought it was going to be scary blending holiday traditions, I am super excited to do so! The best part of marriage is blending both family traditions to create the traditions of our current and future family. I can’t wait to remember stories about each ornament with my husband and even what base we were on. IT IS FINALLY THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AWTR Show 344: 52 Things Kids Need From A Dad

2011-12-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio a talk with author Jay Payleitner about his book “52 Things Kids Need From A Dad”.

Resource of the Week: Patricia Gallagher

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Adapting to Recruiting....Not as Easy as I Hoped

2011-12-05T16:32:00.001-08:00

It continuesto amaze me as I continue on our soon to be 15 year Army journey how differenteach assignment can be and the changes that we as spouses, our soldiers, andour families must adapt to. As someknow, my soldier and I are on a recruiting assignment.

I knew walkinginto this new adventure there would be changes to adapt to. This would be the first time in almost 15years of service that we would be away from a military community. Fort McPherson in Atlanta closed right beforewe arrived in Georgia. That meant, nocommissary, no PX, no health clinic, and to my horror, no ACS.

Thankfully Ihave had some close army wives who have stayed in contact with me through thewonderful world of social media, which makes it so much easier to maintainclose friendships and ties. I had onespouse, who is a great friend of mine from Fort Eustis send my children adventcalendars when I was unable to find any here in our area. These relationships do help to keep mesomewhat connected to my military family, but yet there is still somethingmissing.

When you areon recruiting duty and you are not close to a military installation, you have torely on what they call a Soldier and Family Assistance Program Manager (SFAP). This person is basically a one-man or womanACS. At Fort Eustis, where we had beenprior to this assignment, I had LIVED at ACS. I participated in AFAP, was an AFTB instructor and helped my ACS in anyway I could. I met some amazing peoplethere and made some wonderful and lasting friendships. I also learned what it takes to run anACS. There were so many people workingtogether to run all the many types of programs, classes, and events that ACSprovides for Army Families. To place allthese positions and work on the shoulders of one person seems unfortunate andplain ridiculous, if you ask me.

I am learningtoo that our SFAP, though nice enough personality wise, is horrible atcommunication. I have been here inGeorgia since May 2011 and I have yet to speak to my FRG leader or receive herinformation, though I have asked for it numerous times from my SFAP. I have inquired about many programs such asAFAP and AFTB and again have come up empty handed. I can barely get my SFAP to answer emails orreturn phone calls.

I guess I havebecome spoiled by the amazing programs I was a part of at Fort Eustis, and Ithink it is making it harder to adapt. Idon’t feel like I should just sit back and accept this. I think there should be more being done tohelp us adapt to this change and it should be a WHOLE lot easier to get myquestions answered. It always amazes mehow many of the “higher-ups” I have spoken too about various issues throughoutour time in the Army always come at me with the excuse, “Spouses don’t askquestions and they don’t use services that are available to them.” Yet, here I am, an Army spouse, askingquestions, and trying to empower myself so that I might adapt better and adjustto this new assignment and I can’t get anyone to return a phone call. That tells me there is something really wronghere.

But as the Armyspouse I have always been, I am determined to prevail. I hope to somehow, someway bring change tothis broken system and perhaps finally give spouses who arrive here in theAtlanta Recruiting Battalion some much deserved support! I am just thankful for some amazing battlebuddies who have helped to see me through this!

Hooah!

Janet

Are you "fine"?

2011-12-03T23:30:00.000-08:00

Does this "conversation sound familar?

Hey, how you doing?
I'm fine.
-------------------
Do you often leave it there regardless what side of the question you're on?
(Not much of a conversation.)

Do others often leave it there when you've answered their inquiry with "Fine!"?
(Do you wish they'd go on or ask for a distinction?)

Fine? Like, fine as frog's hair, dandy, as my grandpa used to say on good days?
Or like "Fine!" as in you can't or won't open up?
Cause I can handle, "I'm NOT fine." and I want to know how you really are.

I know I'm to that point where I want to go on. Lately, I've been really trying to listen (if even via email) and inquire how my friends, fellow milspouses, and some acquaintances "really are." I haven't had to press much. If you ask and stay still enough to listen, they know and will share words other than "fine."

I'm finding quite a few of them are NOT fine. They're on both sides of the "fine" line.

To better understand for myself the range of emotions an individual could be feeling, I have been doing a little digging. I found the neatest app called "We Feel Fine" at http://wefeelfine.org/. I played around with it, and it was really an eye opener to how many other feelings are out there. (This data collection engine scours the internet blogs for "I feel" or "I'm feeling." You can see graphed data, photo montages, quotes from the blogs. It was fascinating.)

Last night people were not "fine." As I suspected, they were on both sides of that "fine" line.

The app's registry of most common feelings overall were

on one hand
better, good, right, well, happy, comfortable, free, great, whole, pretty, safe

on the other hand
bad, guilty, sick, sh*t, sorry, down, alone, sad, lost, stupid, tired, weird, lonely, home, ill, horrible, off, different, done

This was no scientific study, I just wrote down the top 30 most common feelings overall with words that shouldn't concern you on one hand and words that should concern you on the other hand. I have no data to show how much these common feelings would vary (and in what direction) if there was a "military life" qualifier.

But I know the disconcerting feelings are here in our community; my military spouse friends are feeling them. They're struggling, but oftentimes still they'll tell you they're "fine."

Well, I'm not "fine" because I don't believe them, at the least I know they can get more descriptive so we know exactly where they're at and if we can help or find out we need help ourselves.

I'm not "fine" because if one of us is not ok, then none of us should be ok.

Those of us that are feeling right, well, and happy need to be listening and surrounding those who are off, alone, and/or done.

If we're not there for them, we may find that they're not there for us when the positions are reversed. Or we may find that it was too little too late, as that has been the tragic case for some.

Right now, I've not struck on a solution for the weariness we're feeling. But I have changed my
behavior as far as gauging my mood and my feelings and I want to get better at asking others how they really are.

If they're great then I'll rejoice. If I can help them, I vow to make sure they know I will.

________
similar posts from our Loving A Soldier archives:
Why They Called Him Goose
Got That T-shirt
Out of Empathy

The ELF Has Arrived...

2011-12-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

December brings the start of many traditions in our family...the Advent calendar, Advent wreath, special cookies only made this time of year, visits with the man in red, time spent with family, and of course the one most anticipated by my kids...

...the return of Penny the Elf.

Oh yes, I caved to the Elf on the Shelf tradition a few years ago and I have to admit, it is one of the best decisions I have made. Penny the Elf keeps watch over my children during the weeks leading up to Christmas and when the sibling arguments start, all I have to do is remind them, "Penny is watching." It works every time. This simple little stuffed elf hears the kids Christmas wishes, allowing me to listen in. He even hears their troubles sometimes, listening without responding...unlike mom.

While we do keep the more modern Elf on the Shelf tradition at our house, we also try to teach our kids what we believe to be the true meaning of Christmas. We attempt to steer them away from the materialism that the store advertisements and television ads help to create. We talk about where the legend of Santa Clause came from and how it is better to give than to receive. We try to help them appreciate their blessings and understand that there are many children less fortunate than themselves. It's certainly not an easy lesson to learn or to teach, but we do it in hopes that they will grow up to be empathetic and compassionate adults. Christmas seems like the perfect time of year to point out those values in ways that they can easily understand.

I love this time of year and the many traditions that come along with it. I was worried that this year, with my husband being deployed, I would not have much Christmas spirit and would let the traditions slide. That's definitely how I felt months ago when I thought about the holiday season...I didn't want a tree, I didn't even want to be home for the holidays. But now that December is upon us, keeping our family traditions alive has become incredibly important to me. I want this time to be happy for our kids and to make Christmas as normal as possible for them without their dad around, so that they don't feel like one more thing it missing. Our traditions are just as important to our kids as they are to us. And I'm also carrying on the traditions this year and trying to make things cheerful at home to honor my husband while he is away. Together, as a family, we have created these traditions and memories and in a sense, it would be like forgetting him if I chose to not celebrate as we normally would. He is part of our traditions and having them in our home brings a little bit of him home as well, even if he is miles away.

I'm looking forward to all that this month brings. I'm even welcoming the craziness of shopping, baking, and visiting family! We're also hoping for a special gift from Santa (fingers crossed...more on that one later!). I know it will be harder to get it all done and that there will be days that just get me down without my husband home, but knowing that I am keeping some part of him with us through our traditions brings cheer to my spirit. And having Penny the Elf around to keep the kids in check, that will definitely help with my sanity! :)

Happy Holidays to you all!

What special traditions do you keep during the holiday season?

Building A Magical Christmas - Crafting Our Advent Calendar

2011-11-30T10:13:00.000-08:00

I've talked a lot about traditions through the years. The most common ones you hear me reference is my family's tradition of opening new pajamas on Christmas Eve, baking Christmas cookies, and reading Twas' the Night Before Christmas (the soldier version) whilst hanging the Army sock by the fireplace in honor of the soldiers spending Christmas in a far away land. These all mean something very special to our family. I'm sure you all have your special traditions too.

When I was younger Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year. It was my grandma's very favorite holiday and she made sure it was extra special for us, her grandchildren. We decorated trees (yes multiple ones), baked tons of cookies, sang at the local retirement home, and crafted feasts fit for a King. We even had assigned parts in our Christmas Eve organized talent show. And yes, we opened Christmas Eve jammies and read Twas the Night Before Christmas EVERY Christmas Eve. I will never forget the sound of laughter on Christmas morning - that's how I woke up, to a house full of family and Santa's gifts under the tree. It was magical.

Somewhere along the line I stopped believing in Santa Claus but I never lost my Christmas spirit because it was so fun to do all of these things with grandma. The day she died Christmas somehow died with her. The family didn't get together as one large group. Everyone went their own separate "family" ways and broke into smaller groups of family. There were not multiple trees, no talent show, and not near as much laughter on Christmas morning. I lost some of my spirit. Determined to move forward with our traditions my mama and I managed to keep a small less "talent" version of our Christmas program "alive" along with the exchange of jammies. There was no denying it wasn't the same.

Well, that was until I had my girls. I got my Christmas groove back. Christmas through a child's eye is magical - and now I see that everything my Grandma did for us wasn't so much as she loved Christmas but she wanted US to love the togetherness and spirit of joy because SHE LOVED US! So when Christmastime rolls around each year I drag out the 17 Rubbermaid containers full of Christmas decor, decorate multiple trees, wrap like an elf, visit retirement homes, bake immense amounts of cookies, share handmade gifts with my neighbors, drive through tunnels of lights (multiple times), mail Christmas cards, have holiday parties, and do immense amounts of crafting. All in an effort to to share the joy of Christmas with my children/family.

This year I thought I'd share a fun idea with you that I added to our "collection" of Christmas fun. We had a handmade Advent calendar given to us last year from a dear friend who scrapbooks. It is pretty amazing. So, this year I hunted down things to put into the drawers. Instead of tiny toys or candy I decided to go with Christmas related items that my children would enjoy every day. Here is the list that I made:

Read a Christmas book

Go to the movie theater

Eat a piece of Christmas candy

Sing jingle bells

Sing frosty the snowman

Think of 5 names for a snowman

Make a list of your favorite Christmas cookies

Recite the 12 days of Christmas

Make a paper snowflake

Watch elf

Make a picture of Santa

Write Santa a letter/email

Drive around to see the lights

Do a Christmas craft

Think of five stocking stuffers

Watch polar express

Make up a song about Christmas

Make reindeer food

Unwrap Christmas jammies

Research the real meaning of Christmas – tell the story

Wish someone merry Christmas today!

Write a story or draw a picture about Christmas

Wrap a Christmas present

Make a puffy snowman

Draw a picture of an elf

Once I printed them up I cut them into strips and assigned them a day by placing them in the box. I can hardly wait til' tomorrow when they open their first drawer. To me, that's magical. That joy is what grandma taught me and what the season is all about.

AWTR Show 343: Operation Rising Star

2011-11-28T18:38:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with Operation Rising Star Winner Melissa Gomez. Find out what ORS is all about!

Resource of the Week: Class Six

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

It's the Most BUSY time of the year

2011-11-28T17:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you all, but Thanksgiving was just a few days ago, and I'm already exhausted from the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. It's great because I'm SO busy, but at the same time, when can I relax a little. Thank goodness for online shopping!

Right now, I'm in the middle of a long term sub. gig. The teacher I'm subbing for just had a baby and so I'm teaching 5th grade Science. I'm certified in music, but this isn't too bad. Speaking of music, that keeps my life insane. I sing with a professional chorus where we live, and the number of concerts, rehearsals, and recordings that we're doing is just unreal. Someone counted between 11/14 and 12/18, we have 23 days of rehearsals, concerts, and/or recordings. While we're a professional group, we're also volunteers. Not to mention that I'm auditioning for summer opera festivals for Aspen (yes, Colorado) and Brevard (North Carolina). I've been putting in a lot of hours singing on my own, and recording. Wish me luck as I drive to an audition this weekend!

Then there's just the business of being a wife - an Army wife - and a step-mom. There is literally not a night of the week that I don't have something going on between now and Christmas. Somewhere in there, I need to find time to do laundry. I have to force myself to make some 'me' time. For me, that's taking 30 minutes a few days a week to run or do step aerobics or whatever.

Running has become such a BIG part of my life. I use that time to think, pray, reflect, de-stress, etc. I think that if it weren't for the fact that I make myself do that, then I'd probably be sick and seriously run down. I just keep on trucking along.

As we get into this festive time of year, don't forget to reflect on what this time of year is supposed to be about. Take a moment to sit down with a cup of tea, hot cocoa, coffee - whatever it is that you drink - and spend some time with family, friends, etc. Know how blessed you are to have people in your life that love you. No matter if your spouse is home or abroad, there are people somewhere who love you. We'll all make it through this busy season. We'll survive the 2011 holidays and then 2012 will be here. We're all doing this Army wife thing together. Let's remember to appreciate each other in this season.

AWTR Show 342: 1001 Things To Love About Military Life

2011-11-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio and learn 1001 Things To Love About Military Life. Authors Tara Crooks & Star Henderson share conversation with authors Kathie Hightower & Holly Scherer about their new book. This one is going to be fun!
Resource of the Week: alk Turkey Line - Butterbal

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

You are what you eat.....

2011-11-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

Growing up people in our lives would try to drive home that we "are what we eat". Now.... we do know this isn't entirely true. No matter how many ears of corn you eat you will never turn into a cob yourself(but I hear if you eat enough carrots your skin can turn a lil orangish). And if you eat a McDonald's Big Mac regularly you won't actually be smothered in "the secret sauce". But we all know now what the message meant, if we want to be healthy then we need to eat healthy.

I am not one to talk about eating healthy. In fact I am a cross between a banana split and tostino's pizza with a side of one of those "if you can eat this steak you will get it for free".

While I do not pay too close attention to what I eat, I do carefully select what I consume. And by that I mean what my mind consumes. I believe that with the way the media and Hollywood play out in our lives we are set up for some expectations of what life really isn't like. Women see a man on screen who is a bit of an oaf relationally yet somehow magically becomes a heartthrob by the end of the movie who not only woos the actress, but the hearts of the audience. As a guy I can tell ya seeing these guys on screen who romantically whisk these women away, it leaves me feeling a bit like I could never measure up to that.

As for the women portrayed in the media and in Hollywood, well, if only. But reality is not the seductress we see.

Then we have reality shows. Sure some of them are pretty good. I am not a fan of ANY of them, but from what I know, a show like The Amazing Race is fairly accurate to what something like that would be like if we were to really participate. But it's the rest of the shows that are way off, you know, all those "Housewives" shows or those folks who claim to be of Italian descent yet the country of Italy didn't even want them filming there. Or how about Biggest Loser like one of our other Loving A Soldier bloggers mentioned recently, "who loses 15 pounds in a week"? That's not reality unless you are living a life like those people are on the ranch. Sure the show can be inspiring, but DAMN! It makes me feel worse.

The closest thing I can ever recall looking like reality TV was the show that ran from 1988-1997 that starred Rosanne Barr-Arnold and John Goodman. The show "Rosanne" is hands down the closest thing I have ever seen resemble the reality of those around me.

I try my best to monitor what I view on the screen because life isn't like 2 1/2 Men and all about chasing "tail" and "scoring", and even though it's entertainment, I know I am what my mind is consumed by. And that goes for the music I listen to as well.

If you follow my personal blog, TheArmyWifeDUDE, then you get a taste of the music I let fill my ears and my mind. Sure it's a bit sappy at times, but what's so sappy(aka "bad") about love? And yes, I lean heavily on the Contemporary Christian music that I listen to, but I think finding hope and inspiration in the words of music is much better than reciting "you gotta lick it, before you stick it". And what is more, my kids won't be repeating some of those lyrics out there today. But maybe it's just me who sees something wrong with a 9 year old girl shaking her bom-bom and bellowing "I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!".

So what does all this have to do with an AWN Loving A Soldier blog? My words to you are be careful what you are consumed by in this military life. In the new book recently released titled 1001 Things To Love About Military Life co-written by AWN co-founder's Tara Crooks and Starlett Henderson; as well as Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer, the author's try their best to remind us of all the good in this life. And that can sometimes be hard to do considering all that we are surrounded by.

I have yet to really dig into this book but I am sold on the concept they are trying to get across. It totally plays into my mentality of "you are what you eat/what you let your mind consume(or should I say consume your mind)".

I really wish every Army spouse could be part of the Army Wife Network core team. I mean seriously, do you have any idea how inspiring it is to continually to be in contact with people who are so selfless? On top of the AWN team, my friends list on facebook is chalk full of other MILspouses who are literally awe inspiring. From the man I look up to most in the military MANspouse role(Tim Blake) to a woman(Melissa Seligman) who totally gets the roller coaster of emotions this life entails and wants to meet the spouses where they are at and not let any of them feel they are alone.

Regularly my status feed will light up with posts by Military Spouse Magazine's Military Spouse of the Year. Now you talk about someone who motivates me to do more in this life I have found myself in. Not taking away from The First Lady Michele Obama and Dr Jill Biden, but I swear, Bianca may be doing as much by herself for us military spouses and our families as they are. *Now I know that's a stretch, but seriously, the selfless behavior of this woman always has me wanting to do more in our community.*

I have also really begun clamping down on the facebook pages that I "like". No more negativity for me. No more "random questions" coming across my screen that are better left for the bedroom or the attorney. No more getting caught up in people complaining how bad things are when I know others have it worse than someones FRG.

What about out of the cyber world? Well I am so happy to be taking part in as many classes as I can possibly fit in my schedule. Going through the Army Family Team Building classes is not only teaching me many great things, but it is surrounding me with people who are looking to either be positively impacted in our world or are looking to positively impact people. I think there is something to be said about people who volunteer their time to learn. And even more so people who volunteer to teach.

There are "negative nillies" all around us, especially in the society we find ourselves in where we live and breathe social networking, as well as TV/movies/music/entertainment. But I for one am choosing carefully what I take in. I am what I eat. I am what I consume. I may not have Lady Gaga or Charlie Sheen fun, but I am winning anyway. And when it comes time for me to measure myself and my qualities, well I think there are better role models on my facebook friends list than there are on any mainstream TV network.

ATTENTION Army Wives - SPREAD SOME HOLIDAY HOOAH!

2011-11-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

It's that time - the time of the year to start spreading some Holiday joy - in the Army we call that HOOAH!

We took the traditional "jingle" or "elf" (the Christmas rendition of the "boo") and added a bit of Army pride. We hope you enjoy! Please feel free to share with us where you started this - we'd love to watch it sweep the nation.

First download the Holiday HOOAH instructions:

http://www.armywifenetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Holiday-Hooah.pdf

Then download the Holiday HOOAH sign:

http://www.armywifenetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Holiday-HooahSIGN.pdf

I'd rather have a life of oh-well's than a life of I-should-have's.

2011-11-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

As an FRG leader, I need to fundraise. For what, I am not entirely sure, but I know my husband’s commander wanted us to have a fundraiser. I am probably the least creative person on the planet, so we opted to have a bake sale. (I bet you didn’t see that one coming.) We had a fundraiser today at K16 (Seoul Air Base). Thankfully, it was a success. We sold almost everything on our table and raised quite a bit of money. I stole some cupcake ideas from Pinterest, and they were a hit. (If you don’t know what Pinterest is, be prepared to be addicted to something new. Visit Pinterest.com, and search for anything, like cupcakes. Get ready for your mind to be blown.)

I love baking, honestly. Any reason for me to bake cupcakes, I’m all over it. You just had toe surgery? Well, let me make you some cupcakes. Cleaned your kitchen? What kind of cupcakes do you want? I’m that girl, so I was all about the fundraiser. The one thing that scared the crap out of me was the selling part. What I *really* wanted to do was drop off my cupcakes and wish the other two women in our FRG the best of luck. Here’s why… I live with Social Anxiety Disorder. To the tenth degree. In the worst way humanly possible. I remember when I first met my husband when we were in college. He wanted to go to parties, and the very idea sent my heart racing. I don’t like small talk. Let’s just skip that whole awkward “How ‘bout that weather?” conversation and just get to ignoring each other. One time my husband went to a party, and I told him I needed to use the restroom. And I left. I just left. I drove home. I couldn’t stand being there anymore. I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me, wondering why that good-looking guy is with that ugly fat girl. I was so flippin’ worried about what people thought, it was crippling. I didn’t like to leave the house. I didn’t like to socialize. I just wanted to be left alone with a good book, a slice of pizza, and some soda. Maybe some ice cream, too. Oohh, and some cake. Chocolate cake.

Fast forward to 2010. My husband is graduating from OCS. I had to go to his graudation formal. Well, crap. I can’t get out of that, I remember thinking. My in-laws came with us and my mother-in-law was particularly wonderful that day. She walked me through everything I needed to know. When to sit, stand, say something… It was almost like a Catholic mass with its rituals. I was scared out of my mind the whole time, and I remember thinking, Please don’t look at me. Please, God, don’t let Tom introduce me to anyone.

After OCS, we were assigned to Fort Rucker, AL, our first duty station. We went to the newcomers’ FRG meetings, despite my best efforts and my biggest tantrums. There was a dinner we had to attend, and I was terrified to go. I stressed for a couple of weeks about it, like if my life depended on it. Thankfully, children were welcome. In those kinds of situations, I am so glad I have my son, Matthew. He is not only the social butterfly his mother isn’t, but he’s super cute and hilarious. He is my icebreaker. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know if I would’ve met as many wonderful people as I have. (Except for Shawna, of course. I can thank the Army Wife Network for her.) You know, it doesn’t help that my husband is a quiet, reserved guy. I have to go to these functions because of him AND I have to fend myself, too. Thanks, Tom.

One of the things I am most thankful for concerning Army wife life is, I just have to get over my issues. Quickly. You don’t have time. You don’t have time to worry about what people think, because, chances are, they are PCSing next month. You don’t have years to develop a long-lasting relationships. All you have for sure in the Army is right now. Right this very moment. I had to learn how to get over myself and put my best foot forward. So what someone doesn’t like me? I can personally guarantee that they are missing out on probably the best friend they’d ever have. I’m a loyal, compassionate, giving person with a horribly inappropriate sense of humor who will do her best to make you laugh just to see you smile. And you want to miss out on this? Sucks to be you.

I still struggle with my fears every single day. I get nervous when I have to have an FRG meeting or when I have to attend a group function. I don’t exactly go out of my way to attend spouses’ functions, but you know what? I do a heck of a lot more now that I’m an Army wife than I would have ever done in civilian life. If you had asked me five, six, seven, even 10 years ago to do some of the things I’ve had to do as an Army wife, I would’ve told you where to go. This is one of the things I love about being a military spouse; learning how to get over myself.

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.

2011-11-15T03:45:00.000-08:00

You know, sometimes this whole losing-weight thing is a flippin' drag. I can think of a thousand ways I could spend my day, and none of which would include working out for at least an hour a day and not losing an ounce of weight. <-- That right there? Load. Of. Crap.

I hit a plateau just over a month ago. I was stuck at 244 pounds (70 pounds down) for a whole month. Do you have any idea how long a month is in Emily years? That’s, like, forever. I know that losing 70 pounds is an awesome feat. Being able to inspire people to get healthy and change their lives is probably one of the most incredible feelings regarding this journey. But. Newsflash! Plateaus are discouraging. They make you want to give up. They make you forget why you are doing this in the first place. Plateaus are simply evil.

So, I tried to shake things up. I changed my routine. I ate more, changed my workout. No weight loss. Ate less, changed my workout. Nothing. Said screw the diet and exercise; I’m going to eat that sleeve of Oreos and not feel bad about it. I not only proceeded to feel bad about it, but I gained a pound. Really? REALLY? *headwall*

I have been going at this regimen for about eight months now. I’ve come to expect a certain amount of weight loss every week, and that went flying out the window last month. I needed a change. I needed to be inspired. I needed to know there are people going through this same journey as I, and even though they are struggling, they are pushing through it anyway. So, what did I do? I started watching the Biggest Loser on Netflix. Okay, so here’s the thing. I never liked the Biggest Loser. I hated the idea of taking something as serious to me as diet and exercise and making a silly competition out of it. Losing two pounds in one week on that show could get you sent home?! Really?! A two-pound weekly weight loss in the real world is incredible, and I felt like they were trivializing weight loss. I felt like they were telling America that if you don’t lose at least 15 pounds a week, you’re a failure. I didn’t need that in my life. With that being said, my battle buddy, Shawna said she watches it, and, like a sheep, I decided to give it a whirl. If Shawna likes it, it must be fantastic, right? (If you knew her, you’d be saying “Right!”)

I started watching season 1 and got through it in a week or so. I didn’t care much for the competitions and the silly things they had to do, but to see them lose weight from start to finish was inspiring. Just what I needed! To see people workout as hard as they could, hit plateaus, continue to persevere, and ultimately reach their goal. That was incredible to watch. And not to mention, I admire those folks getting up on that scale half-naked for the world to not only see how much they weigh but their unclothed fat, too. I don’t think I could do it. Well, actually, ask me that next year. :)

I decided to stop feeling back for myself, put on my big girl panties, and keep on keeping on. I cannot wish this weight away. (Trust me. I have tried wishing it away, willing it away with my mind, yelling at it… It doesn’t work.) I have to work at it every single day. Every day is a battle. Shawna recommended walking the stairs in my apartment building as an alternative workout. I was resistant to it at first, because, well, that’s hard. I needed to shake things up, so eventually I caved. I walked up and down 15 floors and left pieces of my body behind. Eventually I started going up and down 26 floors, twice a day. It hurt. A lot. A. LOT. I did that for a few days, and wouldn’t you know it – I said good bye to that plateau. Well, for now anyway. It’ll come back. And when it does, I’ll make sure not to have any Oreos nearby.

Don’t give up. Just keep going. And don’t wait until tomorrow either. Tomorrow will never come. I mean, really… if not now, when?

AWTR Show 341: Fort Living Room

2011-11-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a talk about careers with Chazz Pratt. Chazz is on the team of managers for USAA’s Military Spouse Community and author of “Fort Living Room”.

Resource of the Week: LoveLastChance.org

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

Thankful thoughts

2011-11-14T11:35:00.000-08:00

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, classrooms everywhere are preparing. In my 3 year old class, we are learning about the Letter T, and what it means to be Thankful. It is very hard for children that age to grasp that idea. Today, as I sat in class and spent a few moments with each student, it really tugged my heartstrings, as I gave thanks for them and their innocent little minds. I was making a craft about being thankful, and to make it a bit easier for them, we talked about what makes them "Happy", an emotion we had covered earlier.
It was at this time, that I felt like I got smacked right back to where I should be. While as adults, we find ourselves almost constantly stressed out or worried about something, and often times griping more about holiday shopping and weather than remembering the purpose for the season, these kids were so refreshing.
The concept of being thankful this season for those little things in life. Yes, spouses are deployed, the economy is in crisis, and negative things are happening all around us, but have you really stopped to enjoy your "peanut butter sandwhich"?
I learned today all about how thankful the children are for the teddy bears they sleep with, the silly pictures daddy draws in the lunch box, the apples mommy cuts up, the funny dances that I do in class and teach the kids, and the times that that childs sister shared their barbie, and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches.
Reality check. This reminded me to stop looking at so many big things, and hop on board with enjoying all those amazing little things that we take for granted and forget to be thankful for.
I hope that this Holiday offers you a few moments to look back and remember all the little things that tug at your heart and you can appreciate.

Where I've been

2011-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

In all of the business of the typical “everyday” I, just like you, I’m sure, forget to take the moment to absorb the goings on around me. Lately I have tried to make a real effort to do things on a whim and off the cusp. Cancer does that, I guess. It makes the people around those infected realize the purity in the little things and the awesomeness of those big.

My dad was diagnosed roughly 3 months ago with stage 3 throat cancer. This week will be his final radiation and chemo treatments for this round; which will, hopefully, help to put his body into remission after 8 weeks of daily radiation combined with one 5 hour chemo trip per week. I am one of those people who think cancers live within us all… negative? I don’t think so… I think it is just a way of life. However, watching the strongest man you have ever known be humbled to the point of nearly breaking can be quite a strain on the mental well being of anyone, including myself; who has just gone through yet another year long deployment. To say that my mental capacity for such things was not ready for another blow is to put it mildly. Eric and I barely had time to reintegrate at all, and here I am traveling back and forth to Florida to do as much of “this” with my mom as I can. Throat cancer is no fun… no cancer is, but this one for me takes the cake. You see, this is not my first rodeo with the cancer “experience”. At seventeen, I watched my best friend fight stage 4 melanoma while injecting himself every other day with a test drug called interferon. While interferon does not make you lose your hair, it makes you sick…..very, very sick. He did that for a year and has now been in remission for 13 years. At nineteen, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and while the treatments were no rival to those of my best friend or my father, it was an experience for sure. But throat cancer, it’s different; the treatment is different.

Throat cancer is treated by shooting radiation into the jaw five times a week. Can you imagine what that does to a person? Radiation kills the muscle in the jaw and leaves the throat swollen to the point of completely closing. My father cannot eat or even drink a few sips of water right now… he gets all nutrition via my mother and a feeding tube in his abdomen. It’s terrible, but it is worth it. He may lose his teeth, which have also been affected by the strength of the radiation, but that too, will be okay.

So, if you have been wondering where I have been lately, it’s here. Doing something we don’t talk about often, but that I am sure a lot of us do. I just want you to know, that for all of the happy posts I write, I am still real and real things still happen. I hope that some of you can relate, so that you know there is someone here who has been touched by something like this. I’m here and I’ll listen always. I just felt you all deserved an explanation of my absence lately….

It's the end of an era...the beginning of a new

2011-11-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched as my youngest child, my only son, the boy I thought I could never relate to since I had three girls prior to him, donned his pads and uniform and ran out onto the field for what turned out to be his very last high school football game. The very last time he will ever kick an extra point or the thrilling game winning field goal for his high school team, the Franklin High School Rebels. I have to tell you, I am surprisingly a bit melancholy about the whole thing. This truly is an end of an era not only for him but me as well.

It's amazing that we rarely stop to think in our younger years that days like these are coming quicker than we ever anticipated. I can remember being so proud when my oldest daughter graduated high school eight years ago. I wasn't thinking it was an end of an era but a beginning to a bright new future for her and all the wonderful things she would embark on. And it truly was and has been. Then my next two daughters graduated high school in rapid succession, or at least it seemed to me. Now, here we are at the end of the line, per se. My son will graduate high school next May. And the end of another era.

Our lives as military families have more than our share of era endings and new beginnings don't they? It's far from a "normal" (as the majority of the world identifies) lifestyle but one most of us embrace as exciting and new - not one looked on with sadness. After all, we would not be where we are today if it weren't for some eras ending in our lives. They could have been good or bad, our choice or someone else's, or just the cycle of life.

So, here's to you my son, Connor Alexander, even though you are sad at what you see as an end of an era, remember it is just the beginning of a new one! I love you and am so very proud of you. Now, let's bring on the spring soccer season! Go Rebels!

We are going...WHERE?

2011-11-10T13:30:00.000-08:00

No, seriously. Where ARE we going? After a few innocuous duty stations from his branch manager, it was sounding last month like Big Sarge was just going to stay here at Fort Blistering after his deployment to Afghanistan. Which I was totally okay with. And then the big news came today that we are leaving the eastern seaboard for points west. How far west? REALLY west. Really north and west, like ALASKA.
Again, I am totally okay with this as well. As the saying goes, "I cast my lot in with a soldier, and where he was, was home to me". Who was not okay with this? The soldier in question, Big Sarge. After a few choice words about what an adventure this would be and how much fun we would have and how perhaps it is time to broaden one's horizons past the mighty Mississippi, Big Sarge is slightly more okay with it.
Why am I making this the subject of my (day late) blog post? I want to encourage all of you out there to choose your words and your attitudes carefully. Whether it be with our spouses or with our children, our friends or aquaintances, if we put forth a good attitude about things, it will generally cause others to have a good attitude about things as well. I could have just as easily said, "Alaska??!? Whiskey Tango Hotel? Who wants to live there in an igloo? I hate the cold. Forget it, buster!" This would not have helped at all. Besides, I'm reasonably certain that Alaskans live in houses. Most have indoor plumbing, right? :) I kid, I kid.
Attitude is everything. Every single person I have told, either on the phone or on Facebook, that we have orders to Alaska has been nothing but supportive. Their attitude has improved mine. Am I happy that once again, I will be several time zones away from my family? Nope. Am I happy that the movers are going to lay hands on my stuff again? A resounding NO. Am I happy to leave my friends? Nyet. But we can't dwell on the negative things. We have to think of what awaits us! Mountains, a white Christmas, new friends, a house with a decent property manager (please God), more time zones between me and my mother-in-law...
The only thing I would like to know is this- where ARE we going? Because Big Sarge was too upset to look very closely at his orders.

Make Your Own Stir Fry

2011-11-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

This month's Mess Hall recipe is a review of Eating Well's Stir-Fried & Chile Beef Broccoli.
This recipe was featured on p 22 of Eating Well's fall digital edition or printed Eat Healthy Your Way: Fall 2011 available at commissaires each quarter.

Check back soon for the review! Try it out and let us know what you think!

USAA & Military.com announce TOP 10 Best Places for Military Retirement

2011-11-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

USAA and Military.com commissioned Sperling's Best Places to create this ranking to help military retirees launch a second career by highlighting the best places in the nation for jobs that match their skill sets.

The rankings are a resource to help military retirees overcome common transition challenges, such as effectively translating job skills and managing a new financial landscape.

Find out more by visiting USAA.

Overall Top 10 List

1. Oklahoma City, OK

2. Norfolk, VA

3. Richmond, VA

4. Austin, TX

5. San Antonio, TX

6. Madison, WI

7. Philadelphia, PA

8. Raleigh, NC

9. Omaha, NE

10. Manchester, NH

Top 10 Premier Metros List

1. Nassau, NY

2. Washington, D.C.

3. Cambridge, MA

4. Honolulu, HI

5. Bethesda, MD

6. Baltimore, MD

7. Edison, NJ

8. Boston, MA

9. New York, NY

10. Seattle, WA

Top 10 Medium Metros List

1. Manchester, NH

2. Anchorage, AK

3. Killeen, TX

4. Huntsville, AL

5. Ann Arbor, MI

6. Rockingham County, NH

7. York, PA

8. Roanoke, VA

9. Topeka, KS

10. Lexington, KY

Top 10 Small Metros List

1. Cheyenne, WY

2. La Crosse, WI

3. Rapid City, SD

4. Columbia, MO

5. Lebanon, PA

6. State College, PA

7. Wichita Falls, TX

8. Warner Robins, GA

9. Jefferson City, MO

10. Lawton, OK

AWTR Show 340: Grief Solutions

2011-11-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for Joanne Steen from GriefSolutions.net. We’ll be talking about how to show compassion for our grieving military families.

Resource of the Week: Get Fit with Stew Smith

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

What I Have Learned…

2011-11-06T18:17:00.000-08:00

In the past month, I learned so much about the military and myself with my husband in the field. First off, it is hard to get anywhere with insurance without knowing his social security number. I went to my dentist who I have been going to since I was 2, but for the first time with a new last name. While changing the name on the chart was super easy, the secretary needed his social security to process the claim. So lesson number 1, memorize his social security.

While in the fields, he has minimal access to a cell phone or a computer. I talk to my husband all the time and even juggle the 3-hour time difference. I thought with him in fields this would be like his deployment and I would hear from him like once a day or every other day. Boy was I wrong. Needless to say I completed more crossword puzzles in last month then I think I have done the whole year for entertainment. So clearly, I need to get a hobby. Any suggestions?

I feel that not talking to my husband was a negative however there was a positive spin. I made a decision without talking to him and at the same time defied my parents for the first time in a very long time. I was the golden child growing up and did everything they asked of me. I always listened to them until a few weeks ago. I applied for this great opportunity that would allow me to treat patients in a third world country. My parents disapproved due to safety concerns. While the country is not that unsafe, I thought it was an opportunity to for personal and professional growth. So I applied, was chosen, and will be traveling next year! So I was extremely proud of my decision. Lastly, if my husband has made me worry for 365 days, he can easily worry for 7 days. Right, ladies? Don’t worry this country is not unsafe.

Lastly, after only 4 months of marriage I know my husband very well. I think I even know him better than myself. After finally making it home, he called me to tell me his plans for the day. He was all excited about everything he was going to accomplish for the evening. In my head I was like no way is this going to happen. I was like well since you want to watch football why don’t you get a pillow from the bedroom and a blanket while you watch tv. I even stated that I bet you fall asleep in an hour and wake up the next morning. This would be like 14 hours of sleep. He disagreed with me until the next morning he called to tell me he lasted 30 minutes. Point for me!

What do ya’ll do while your significant other is away? What lessons have you learned without them?

Thankful for Thanksgiving

2011-11-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

We have finally made it to November, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I wanted to take a moment today to talk about Thanksgiving because I feel that each year that goes by, Thanksgiving becomes more and more lost to our society. As I was packing up my Halloween decorations today and getting my Thanksgiving ones out, I realized I needed a few more things to complete my Thanksgiving ambiance :) .

I went to Walmart and about five other stores looking for small hay bales and a few other items and was astounded at the fact that Christmas is HERE! Every store I walked into was nothing but Christmas stuff and the gifts that are probably the must-haves this year - televisions, toys, gift sets, etc... However, if you walk near the food section of the store, there are tons of green beans, stuffing, and all the fixings.

As I made my way home, empty-handed, I was just amazed at how Thanksgiving seems to be just a holiday to eat turkey. Have we forgotten the true meaning of Thanksgiving? I was so happy to see the trend that started on Facebook around the 1st of November, where people are writing each day about something they are thankful for. That is the spirit of Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on all that you have been blessed with and a time to remember to count your blessings. You may not have a lot. Lord knows I am not the richest person on this Earth, but I have my health. I have my children and my family. No matter what problems our country is facing right now, we are still a free country and I am thankful for that.

I don't believe we will ever be able to change the way businesses view Thanksgiving but I do hope that everyone will take a moment this Thanksgiving season and remember why we celebrate this important occasion. Spend time with the ones you love and be sure to reflect on what you are thankful for and how blessed we truly are. Pass that message onto your children and others and don't let the Christmas hustle and bustle push Thanksgiving aside.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Veteran's Day to our veterans and our military and their families!! :)

Janet

Lions and Tigers and...Yoda?! Oh my...

2011-11-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

Last night our neighborhood was teeming with miniature Yodas, Darth Vaders, Luke Skywalkers, and of course, the ever popular Disney Princesses, all looking for the coveted prize...CANDY! I love watching the cute little ones all dressed up for Halloween as their favorite characters, strolling up and down the neighborhood streets. Their happy choruses of "trick-or-treat" bring back fun memories of my childhood. Now I enjoy creating those same memories with my own kids. My son dressed as Yoda this year and my daughter was Princess Belle. They were so excited to wear the beautiful costumes that my mom had sewn for them and go out with friends to load up their bags full of candy. It was a wonderful night. We laughed a lot and all came home content and ready to fall into bed. Of course, it had to be an early night, since Halloween fell on a school night, but it was still full of fun.

While Halloween is not my favorite holiday of the year, it is one that I always look forward to as it marks the start of the holiday season. I know that Christmas decor has been up and for sale in the stores for well over a month now, but to me it is not really the holiday season until Halloween. Thanksgiving is a little over 3 weeks away, and Christmas will soon follow. I love this time of year, but at the same time I dread the stress that it can bring. Parties, baking, decorating, visiting family and friends, shopping...the list goes on. I love doing all of those things, but on top of an already busy schedule sometimes it can seem like just too much. So my quest this year is to figure out a way to make the holiday season less crazy, without cutting out the things that I enjoy. With my husband overseas for the holidays, this seems like an impossible task, but I'm determined to make it happen! I want to make this time enjoyable for my kids, and knowing that they are missing their dad, I also want to find ways to include him in the holidays, even from so far away. While I haven't completely figured out how to make all this happen, I have begun formulating a plan...

Make lists - I am a HUGE list person. I have lists of lists that I need to make. And they work for me. So far I have lists for gifts I need to purchase, things I need to do for decorating, places/parties we will attend, and regular to-do lists. I'm sure there will be more.
Make a budget - It's so hard for me to do this during the holidays. I love giving gifts. Finding the perfect gifts for the important people in my life gives me such a happy feeling, but sometimes this can lead to spending beyond the budget. And if you didn't have a budget set in place beforehand, oh boy...bad news. So this year I am setting budget and sticking to it. It'll be kind of like going on a treasure hunt...
Make homemade gifts - The kids are excited to be able to help make gifts for family this year, especially their dad. I can't give away what we have planned though (maybe they will read this!), but I think this will be a way for them to help them feel like their dad is a part of the holidays too. And it will cut back on my shopping time!
Use my calendar - I have a wonderful planner that is just begging to get used and this is the perfect opportunity. I am going to make sure to write all of our activities and to-do items for each day down on the planner, that way I don't over schedule our weeks.
Cut back - I have a hard time saying "no". It's probably one of my biggest flaws. I love to get together with friends and I love to take on cute projects, but all of those things add to my forever growing lists. This year I am going to think twice about every invitation and every project that I am presented with to see if it is really something worth spending my time on. While I would love to be able to do everything and be the crafty mom that makes the perfectly decorated cookies for the holiday party, I just don't have that time this year. No offense to any friends or family, but this year as the single parent running the show, I'm going to have to learn to say "no".
Prioritize - Spending time with my kids is the most important thing this year. I always feel the constant need to clean the house and feel guilty sitting down to play, but this is what my kids need most. They won't remember when they are older that their house was perfectly clean and really, they just don't care. What they will remember is that their mom took time to read to them and play with them, so I will definitely be prioritizing that "to-do" list this year!
And finally, Remember the reason for the season - Whatever your beliefs are, the holiday season is about family and loved ones. Sharing love with each other and spending time together is so much more valuable than toys, fancy feasts, and perfectly baked goodies. So this year I am going to worry less about cleaning the house and baking cookies, and make it a point to slow down and remember why we celebrate the holidays.

I hope to be able to remember this "plan" as the holidays get closer. I am truly looking forward to making it as stress-free as I can (is that possible with my husband deployed?!) and I think we will all benefit from it. With that said, bring it on! I'm ready for the holidays!!

What are some ways that you cut back on the "hustle and bustle" of the holiday season? How do you handle the stress of this time of year?